Some people think that young criminals should receive the same punishment as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Opinion

The matter of the amount of
chastiseing
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chastising
chastisement
adolesant
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adolescent
offender
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offenders
show examples
who
commit
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commits
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
as same as adults
has
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have
show examples
become a controversial debate.
While
I disagree with tough punishments, some of
crimes
Add an article
the crimes
show examples
which
tennegare
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Tennegare
show examples
commit
Correct subject-verb agreement
commits
show examples
should not receive light punishment. if young offenders who have still time to be more
beneficail
Correct your spelling
beneficial
individuals for
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
, encounter tough chastising,
such
as being in prison for a long run, which may have catastrophic impacts on their both
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
and emotions, the rate of crime among them not only would not be low but
also
they may be accused for more severe
crimes
,
such
as
merdering
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murdering
ordering
. In
oder
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other
words,
stying
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staying
show examples
in
joil
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jail
for
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
term
lead
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leads
show examples
them to be more
hursh
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harsh
and violent and gain more
experiences
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experience
show examples
regarding having
cretivity
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creativity
in committing
crimes
.
Acoording
Correct your spelling
According
to government statistics, those offenders who are under 18 years, after receiving severe sentences just like adults, not only did not
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
deter them from reoffending, but it
also
dtereorate
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deteriorate
their
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
which
was
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were
show examples
hazardous for
socirty
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society
.
By contrast
, some adolescents
doing
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crimes
as
hursh
Correct your spelling
harsh
as old ones which
are not neither
Rewrite the sentence
are neither
show examples
forgetable
Correct your spelling
forgettable
nor
forgiveabl
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forgivable
forgive
. In
this
case, when they are punished
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
their age not based on the amount of
crimes
, it may convey that their performances would not have any consequences,
therefore
the likelihood of doing so may be high.
Thus
, should be
consedered
Correct your spelling
considered
what
crimes
they do not what age they are. In conclusion, It is true that
,
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apply
show examples
young criminals have the chance to have better lives after only one crime so they should not be
cunducted
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conducted
as much as old
offendes
Correct your spelling
offenders
offended
, there are a
certin
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certain
number of them who
committ irreperable
Correct your spelling
commit irreparable
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
which after
receiveing
Correct your spelling
receiving
light
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
show examples
because of their age, they may convert into
dangarous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
ones for both the community and themselves.
Submitted by nova7innn on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively but do not overuse them. Ensure your paragraphs are clearly divided and each paragraph discusses one main idea.
task achievement
Thoroughly address all parts of the task, providing a clear position throughout the response. Make sure to give a balanced discussion if the question asks for it.
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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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