Nowadays, more people are becoming overweight. Some people think that the solution is to increase the price of fattening food? To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #price #food

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Today, fatty food is blamed for

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rising number of overweight people. One school of thought holds that country authorities should raise the

price

Use synonyms

to combat

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

While

Linking Words

I accept that

this

Linking Words

perception is somewhat justifiable, I assert that the

solotion

Correct your spelling

solution

also

Linking Words

brings some drawbacks to that notion. On the one hand, it is understandable why expanding the

price

Use synonyms

of oily products could prevent citizens from becoming obese. First and foremost, it could improve residents' diets.

For instance

Linking Words

, with a limited budget, several persons would prefer alternative meats,

such

Linking Words

as fish, vegetables, and other fat-free products, than unhealthy ones, thereby leading them to have

Correct article usage

apply

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healthier eating

habit

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habits

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, expensively fattening meals could enhance

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

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health.

This

Linking Words

is because,

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apply

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decreasing the intake of fat

into

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boby

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baby

as well as

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increasing

diversity

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the diversity

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of nutritions,

which

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apply

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not only could enhance consumers' immune systems but

also

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help them guard against serious

heatlh

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health

problems

such

Linking Words

as heart attack, stroke, or diabetes that

caused

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are caused

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by obesity.

On the other hand

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, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that expensively fattening dishes could negatively affect each individual and whole society. One rationale is that workers could lose their jobs. To be more specific,

due to

Linking Words

costly

Correct article usage

the costly

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price

Use synonyms

, the

quanity

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number

of customers might

fell

Wrong verb form

fall

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. Because of

this

Linking Words

, the profit of restaurants, food stores, or even

livestocks

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livestock

might be reduced or

dificient

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deficient

in addition

Linking Words

, a variety of employees who work in those industries are at risk of being

lay

Wrong verb form

laid

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off. Another justification is that putting additional taxes on high-oil food might badly impact

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apply

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the poor. In fact, in various developed countries, ordinary citizens who get by on a small salary

could

Wrong verb form

can

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only afford cheap fatty meats.

As a result

Linking Words

, low-class people, especially

underprivileged

Correct article usage

the underprivileged

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, would struggle even more to cover their daily expenses. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

it is irrefutable that

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apply

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growth of fatty products

Use synonyms

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

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might have some merits, I would contend

Correct word choice

that gorverning

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gorverning

Correct your spelling

governing

bodies should consider

this

Linking Words

decision carefully because of its serious repercussions.

Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on Wed Jan 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure you have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph that directly relates to the thesis statement and ensure that all subsequent sentences in the paragraph develop the main idea presented in the topic sentence. Avoid unrelated details.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and data where possible to support your arguments, ensuring relevance and strengthening your main points. Real-world examples, statistics, or studies would enhance your arguments.

task achievement

To enhance your score, work on developing each point fully, aligning closely with the essay prompt. You can improve this by deepening your analysis and clearly connecting your arguments to the core topic with more precision.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Nowadays, more people are becoming overweight. Some people think that the solution is to increase the price of fattening food? To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Include an introduction and conclusion

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with statement?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Schools should stop using books for teaching children as they find them.boring and use films tv and computer instead . to what extent do you agree and disagree?

a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main course of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctry. what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?