Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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There is an arguable discussion about the main subject at primary school,

such

Linking Words

history

Use synonyms

Science

Use synonyms

and

Technology

Use synonyms

This

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essay

argue

Change the verb form

argues

show examples

that

science

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and

technology

Use synonyms

should be the focus

Change preposition

show examples

academy

Add an article

the academy

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;

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will still cover both sides. On the one hand,

history

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takes fundamental knowledge

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show examples

how events in the past have

build

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built

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this

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country, Indonesia, from our founding

father

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fathers

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, heroes, and even many kingdoms in the past.

Moreover

Linking Words

history

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helps pupils to have value and insight

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into

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the meaning of struggle and fight for our independence.

Furthermore

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, from

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history

Add a comma

history,

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student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

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will know about how people

life

Replace the word

lived

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in the past, with very limited resources. From that story, they can learn about

development

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the development

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of tools,

For example

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, crafting tools from stone to metal, that can enhance children’s view on resilience in life.

On the other hand

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, some people might assume that

focus

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focusing

show examples

science

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and

technology

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subjects at primary school can give more benefits

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the student’s future.

Technology

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development today, is on the rise,

thus

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study

Wrong verb form

studying

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Change preposition

show examples

this

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sector will lead to research and development on

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science’s

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science

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jobs that will contribute to

make

Verb problem

apply

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advance

Replace the word

advanced

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improvement

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improvements

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For instance

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, at

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science

Correct article usage

a science

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project, each student team can explore to do several experiments that can boost their analytical thinking.

Hence

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science

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knowledge can make

student

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the student

a student

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think critically and have good

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

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characteristic

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characteristics

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that

important

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are important

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for their future. In conclusion,

academic

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the academic

show examples

curriculum at school can make certain subjects

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apply

show examples

a priority, for

history

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, children will learn about

treasure

Replace the word

treasured

show examples

moments in the past that

builds

Correct subject-verb agreement

build

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their value and

characteristic

Fix the agreement mistake

characteristics

show examples

while

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for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

will help them to follow massive

technology

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update

Fix the agreement mistake

updates

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and innovation.

However

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, learning about

history

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is significant, but

science

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will

provide

Verb problem

apply

show examples

greatly enhance

Change preposition

apply

show examples

pupils

Change noun form

pupils'

pupil's

show examples

skills.

ru.kabiru.biruWed Jan 24 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to introduce both viewpoints and your personal opinion clearly in the introduction to immediately present a clear position.

task achievement

Develop your ideas thoroughly and evenly. Both the viewpoints of history and Science & Technology should be equally discussed to meet the task requirements.

task achievement

Aim to include more relevant examples and ensure they are detailed to illustrate your points effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Structure your essay into clear paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose (introduction, two body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion).

coherence and cohesion

Make use of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs, but avoid overusing them.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid overly lengthy sentences to enhance clarity and cohesion. Use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures for better flow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Historical perspective
Analytical skills
Contextual understanding
Technological advancements
STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
Innovation
Interdisciplinary
Job market
Climate crisis
Cultural identity
Critical thinking
Humanities
Contemporary issues
Integration
Tech-savvy

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Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people nowadays spent a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?