Many people believe that teachers can influence the intellectual and social development of children, more than parents do. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

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Children
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are being affected by their tutors during their education, and some people believe that the effects of
teachers
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on pupils
higher
Add a missing verb
are higher
show examples
than
parents
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. It can be easily stated that the impacts of
teachers
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on
kids
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are more significant than
parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
show examples
impact
due to
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the fact that youngsters spend the majority of their
time
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at school, and they tend to accept their tutor's recommendations
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
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their parent's advice. One of the reasons why
kids
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tend to
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
affected by tutors compared to
parents
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is the amount of
time
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,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they share together. An average kid consumes the majority of their
time
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at school by learning subjects from a
teacher
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,
as a result
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, an intense
relationship
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between
kids
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and
teachers
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can be built.
This
Linking Words
interaction may put
teachers
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at
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in
show examples
an
advantage
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advantageous
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position for shaping pupil's intellectual and social improvements more remarkably than
parents
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.
For instance
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,
according to
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curriculums,
children
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spend about 8 hours at school
by
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apply
show examples
interacting
their
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with their
show examples
teachers
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, considering they are able to interact
around
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for around
show examples
4 hours with their
parents
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, it is completely understandable that they may build
deeper
Add an article
a deeper
show examples
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relationship
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relationships
show examples
with their tutors,
as a
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consequence
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consequence,
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they may become more prone to be affected by
teachers
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.
On the other hand
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,
children
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may tend to accept their
teacher
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's advice. The underlying cause of
this
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pattern is the type of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relationship
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which is built between
teachers
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and
kids
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.
Due to
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the fact that
teachers
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are educated in order to teach and educate students, they are
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
able to analyze pupil's behaviors. Since
teachers
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can monitor pupils objectively, they can navigate them easily. To clarify,
while
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a mother's actions
to
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toward
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her offspring are driven by her emotions, a
teacher
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focuses on educating them correctly.
This
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difference in
mother's
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the mother's
show examples
and
teacher
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's perspective may affect
kid's
Correct article usage
the kid's
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respond
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response
show examples
.
Moreover
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, owing to the
relationship
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, which is not defined precisely between
kids
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and
parents
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,
children
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are likely to reject their
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parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
ideas.
However
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, as
teacher
Use synonyms
determines the boundaries between themselves and students certainly,
children
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tend to accept
tutor's
Correct article usage
the tutor's
show examples
ideas or warnings. For that reason,
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kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
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personalities are tend to driven by
teachers
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rather than
parents
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.
To conclude
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,
while
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some people believe that kid's behaviours are impacted by
parents
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, others argue
teachers
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have more essential effects. I,
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
support the latter idea. In terms of the amount of
time
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that they share together, and
also
Linking Words
the kind of the
relationship
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,
children
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tend to
affect
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be affected
show examples
remarkably
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
teachers
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in
comparsion
Correct your spelling
comparison
with
parents
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ilaydailday on

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Task Response
To enhance your task response score, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Develop your argument further and provide a more balanced view that includes both sides of the argument, followed by a clear personal stance. Include more specific examples to support your viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the logical progression of ideas throughout the paragraphs. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help with the flow. Also, review paragraph structure to ensure each contains one clear main idea with supporting details. This will enhance the readability of your essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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