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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of male and female worker in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of male and female worker in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #worker #country #b #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart depicts information about employees
women
Use synonyms
 and men in two countries A and
B
Use synonyms
. It is clear from the chart that most of
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 tend to work in the services department.
Overall
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 A shows more multiple in of
jobs
Use synonyms
 especially in
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
occupations
Use synonyms
 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most workers in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 crowded service
occupations
Use synonyms
. The lowest number of
jobs
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
 A for males are in industry which is 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the same
occupations
Use synonyms
 in the other
country
Use synonyms
 is 32 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
Men
Change noun form
Men's
show examples
 agriculture
jobs
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the lowest percentage in
land
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 which is 3 percent,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 A shows more demand. The service
occupations
Use synonyms
 in
land
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the highest demand for Females with 88 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there is a common gap of 39 per
cent
Use synonyms
 lower for service
jobs
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
 A.
In addition
Linking Words
, agriculture
jobs
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
 are the lowest percentage in both countries is 1 per
cent
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in
country
Use synonyms
 A is 41 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that the lowest crowd is
women
Use synonyms
 in agriculture
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 the crowdest job is females services in the same
land
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Yousef on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, b, country, jobs, occupations, cent, land with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • workforce
  • percentage
  • male-dominated
  • female-dominated
  • sector
  • industry
  • disparity
  • proportion
  • predominance
  • statistical
  • trend
  • comparison
  • economically active
  • gender gap
  • labor market
  • employment rate
  • significant
  • minority/majority
  • contrast
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