IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that social media is a digital drug that has left many people addicted enhanced their lots of valuable time while others say social media has Enable Connectivity with the world. Discuss both views and give your opinion on the topic.

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Is it often argued that social
media
Use synonyms
 is a dangerous and
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 tool at the same moment.
While
Linking Words
 others state that social
media
Use synonyms
 has
give
Change the verb form
given
show examples
 us a way to reach others around the world, a
lot
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 of
cluster
Change to a plural noun
clusters
show examples
 speculate social
media
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 has
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time more than it should and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 an addiction impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
lot
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 of
individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
show examples
.
This
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 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the use of social
media
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 and the
tremendeus
Correct your spelling
tremendous
 bad effect behind it.
An
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 availability of social
media
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 has
hone
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honed
show examples
 our
life
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lives
show examples
 into a new chapter and new
way
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ways
show examples
 to connect
our
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with our
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 relatives.
A social
Correct article usage
Social
show examples
media
Use synonyms
 possible us to see our
familly
Correct your spelling
family
 activity just in
a
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apply
show examples
touch. All generation class, from child to old, has used social
media
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 in their hand
for instance
Linking Words
 instagram, facebook, and
tiktok
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TikTok
show examples
 which become the most used social
media
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nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
. Social
media
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 connect us not only in a photo or letter but
also
Linking Words
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 form of video, enabling us to hear
others
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others'
other's
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voice
Correct subject-verb agreement
voices
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 and see their emotion. Social
media
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also
Linking Words
 give us new
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
 to
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 positive impact
for
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on
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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for example
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motivation
Replace the word
motivational
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video
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videos
show examples
, cooking
class
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classes
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, yoga
class
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classes
show examples
 etc.
Like
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As
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 a famous tale
say
Correct subject-verb agreement
says
show examples
 "
behind
Capitalize word
Behind
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 a sweat honey there is a
dangerus
Correct your spelling
dangerous
 bee", social
media
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also
Linking Words
generate
Correct subject-verb agreement
generates
show examples
 bad impact
behind
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Social
media
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 give us an easy way
entertainment
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to entertainment
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 that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 us
addict
Wrong verb form
addicted
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with
Change preposition
to
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 content.
This
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 is far more dangerous in the development of artificial
intellegent
Correct your spelling
intelligence
intelligent
 which
make
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makes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
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can
Verb problem
able to
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 track
the
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apply
show examples
content that
suitable
Add a missing verb
is suitable
show examples
 for the user. Because of it, a
lot
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 of individuals can not retain
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
 from social
media
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 and always get it in their
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
 all day.
This
Linking Words
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to become an addiction to most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people and they will
stress
Wrong verb form
be stressed
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 unless
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
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 on their grasp. Dependent
to
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apply
show examples
social
media
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force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
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 us to become unproductive
to do
Change preposition
in doing
show examples
 our work and it will waste a
lot
Use synonyms
 of our time for study, work, and more. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 social
media
Use synonyms
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 possibility to connect with our relatives , it will become dangerous
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 used
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much. If we can use social
media
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 proportion, social
media
Use synonyms
 will become
compelling
Correct article usage
a compelling
show examples
tools
Fix the agreement mistake
tool
show examples
.

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a noticeable attempt at following a logical structure, but it needs to be more pronounced and clearer. Transitions between ideas could be smoother, and paragraphing more distinct. To improve, connect your sentences and ideas more explicitly, using a wider range of linking words.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more effectively crafted. The introduction should clearly outline the viewpoints to be discussed, and the conclusion should summarize without introducing new ideas. For improvement, refine these sections for clarity and directness.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have supported your main points with explanations, but the examples provided are not always concrete and pertinent. Enhance the strength of your argument by employing specific, relevant examples that directly support your claims. Research and include real-world instances or statistics where possible.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a response to the task, but some perspectives feel under-explored, preventing a completely balanced discussion. To fully meet the requirements, ensure you provide a thorough examination of both viewpoints before delivering a clear and substantiated personal stance.
Task Achievement
Although you present ideas, they sometimes lack clarity and comprehensiveness. Aim for more precise language and clearer exposition of your viewpoints. Improve this by defining your ideas concisely and then elaborating on them with thorough explanations and examples.
Task Achievement
Providing relevant examples is crucial to strengthen arguments, yet the essay uses generalities more often than specifics. To score higher, you need to include more detailed examples that are closely tied to the arguments you are making. Make sure these examples are direct, vivid, and well-explained.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • psychological addiction
  • mental health
  • curated images
  • self-esteem
  • instant communication
  • geographic location
  • information dissemination
  • professional networking
  • responsible use
  • negative consequences
  • time wastage
  • productivity
  • social comparison
  • social movements
What to do next:
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