Some people say that the Government should break down all the historic buildings and replace them with modern buildings. Do you agree or disagree?

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History is a prominent subject of every
individuals
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individual's
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life. But, a part of the society believes that the historical
buildings
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should be
rennovated
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renovated
to
contruct
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construct
the modern business
buildings
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,
while
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others reject the notion.
According to
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my viewpoint, history is a significant
as well as
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sensitive topic so,
this
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scenario is trivial. I will explicate the reasons behind
this
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in upcoming paragraphs and
thus
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will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
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with, the most pivotal
extrapolate
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extrapolation
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to support the testimonial is, in many nations
alot
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a lot
of blood was shredded to gain freedom in yesteryears
therefore
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, all
this
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information is depicted from old-aged
buildings
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.
For instance
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, Jalian Wala Bagh located in Amritsar,
In
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apply
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India is a historic building and it could never be reconstructed because of its historic significance.
Furthermore
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, if
government
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the government
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takes any steps to make any amendments
in
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to
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this
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, it might probably lead to
a
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apply
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religious violence in the nation.
Therefore
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, it is apparent
that
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apply
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why many people are in favour of
this
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trend.
Moreover
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,
instead
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of spending money on
decay
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the decay
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and
rebuilt
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rebuilding
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of
old-culture
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old culture
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, the executives can make these tourist places that could even help the country to grow economically.
Besides
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, hospitals and
schools
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school
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buildings
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needs
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need
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more attention than these historic
buildings
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.
Thus
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, the regime should focus on the improvement of learning and
health care
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healthcare
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areas.
Final
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Finally
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analises
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analyses
analysis
,
according to
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the reasons
afforementioned
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aforementioned
above one can reach
to
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apply
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the results that the breakdown of the ancient
buildings
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might be detrimental
for
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to
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the country. So, these steps should be avoided.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout, however, there are some issues with task achievement. Make sure to fully address all parts of the question. Discuss both the view that supports the demolition of historic buildings for modern development and your own view, providing a balanced argument before reaching your conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from more varied cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly. Aim to vary the language you use to start sentences and paragraphs to prevent repetitiveness. This will create a flow that is much easier for the reader to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your main points could be better supported with specific examples and explanation. To improve this, ensure each paragraph discusses one main idea and supports it with detailed reasons or examples. Doing so will make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • invaluable assets
  • tangible connection
  • architectural heritage
  • modernization
  • energy efficiency
  • adaptive reuse
  • historical significance
  • economic implications
  • sustainable
  • green technologies
What to do next:
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