Some people say that the Government should break down all the historic buildings and replace them with modern buildings. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #buildings

History is a prominent subject of every

individuals

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individual's

show examples

life. But, a part of the society believes that the historical

buildings

should be

rennovated

Correct your spelling

renovated

contruct

Correct your spelling

construct

the modern business

buildings

while

others reject the notion.

According to

my viewpoint, history is a significant

as well as

sensitive topic so,

this

scenario is trivial. I will explicate the reasons behind

this

in upcoming paragraphs and

thus

will lead to a logical conclusion as well.

To begin

with, the most pivotal

extrapolate

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extrapolation

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to support the testimonial is, in many nations

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of blood was shredded to gain freedom in yesteryears

therefore

, all

this

information is depicted from old-aged

buildings

For instance

, Jalian Wala Bagh located in Amritsar,

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apply

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India is a historic building and it could never be reconstructed because of its historic significance.

Furthermore

, if

government

Add an article

the government

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takes any steps to make any amendments

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show examples

this

, it might probably lead to

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apply

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religious violence in the nation.

Therefore

, it is apparent

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

why many people are in favour of

this

trend.

Moreover

instead

of spending money on

decay

Correct article usage

the decay

show examples

and

rebuilt

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rebuilding

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old-culture

Correct your spelling

old culture

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, the executives can make these tourist places that could even help the country to grow economically.

Besides

, hospitals and

schools

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school

show examples

buildings

needs

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need

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more attention than these historic

buildings

Thus

, the regime should focus on the improvement of learning and

health care

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

areas.

Final

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Finally

show examples

analises

Correct your spelling

analyses

analysis

according to

the reasons

afforementioned

Correct your spelling

aforementioned

above one can reach

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apply

show examples

the results that the breakdown of the ancient

buildings

might be detrimental

for

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show examples

the country. So, these steps should be avoided.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Wed Jan 24 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay presents a clear position throughout, however, there are some issues with task achievement. Make sure to fully address all parts of the question. Discuss both the view that supports the demolition of historic buildings for modern development and your own view, providing a balanced argument before reaching your conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay would benefit from more varied cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly. Aim to vary the language you use to start sentences and paragraphs to prevent repetitiveness. This will create a flow that is much easier for the reader to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your main points could be better supported with specific examples and explanation. To improve this, ensure each paragraph discusses one main idea and supports it with detailed reasons or examples. Doing so will make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

invaluable assets
tangible connection
architectural heritage
modernization
energy efficiency
adaptive reuse
historical significance
economic implications
sustainable
green technologies

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Some people say that the Government should break down all the historic buildings and replace them with modern buildings. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people believe that violence in the media, such as in television programs and films, directly results in violent behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Popular events like the World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way to what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish, causing pollution on land and in the water, so people think they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?