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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of male and female worker in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of male and female worker in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #worker #country #b #information #features #comparisons
The graph
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
 the proportion of
service
, agriculture and industry workers divided by
genders
Fix the agreement mistake
gender
show examples
 in two different countries.
Overall
, it is noticeable that in all four pie charts
service
 workers are the most hired employees and especially it is noticeable in
country
 B. It is interesting to note that, in
country
 A spheres of
service
 and industry
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
male dominated
Add a hyphen
male-dominated
show examples
, on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, there are more female workers in agriculture. For 13
percent
 more women
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
men
 working in agro-sphere. Only 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of women
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 an industrial job,
while
 almost
for
Change preposition
apply
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two times more
men
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 in
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same positions.
Also
, in comparison between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 countries second one is more oriented to
propose
Wrong verb form
proposing
show examples
 services.
Furthermore
,
country
 B
is having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 small human resources in agriculture, only 3
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 among
men
 and just 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 among women.
Moreover
, in
country
 B
service
 jobs
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 often occupied by female employees,
while
 in
country
 A opposite situation
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 7
percent
 more
men
 working in the
service
 sphere.
Submitted by dyussenovaanel on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words service, country, percent, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • workforce
  • percentage
  • male-dominated
  • female-dominated
  • sector
  • industry
  • disparity
  • proportion
  • predominance
  • statistical
  • trend
  • comparison
  • economically active
  • gender gap
  • labor market
  • employment rate
  • significant
  • minority/majority
  • contrast
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