NOWADAYS, PARENTS ARE ALLOWING THEIR CHILDREN TO USE TABLES AND SMARTPHONES TO ENHANCE LEARNING. DO THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS DEVELOPMENT OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?

In
this
rapid change of technology era, there is
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tablets and smartphones
usage
Replace the word
used
show examples
as beneficial tools to enhance learning among
children
.
Although
using
gadgets
for studying might bring some disadvantages, I believe that it brings more positive impacts than drawbacks. On the one hand, there are several benefits of technology utilization as
learning
Add an article
a learning
show examples
device. One advantage is the interactive and engaging educational
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more attractive for
children
than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conventional learning
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
such
as paper books.
Children
, whose attention span is short, tend to think that paper books are tedious and monotonous.
However
,
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
process utilizing
gadgets
and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
sometimes
featured
Wrong verb form
features
show examples
additional multimedia,
such
as audio-visual facilities, graphic movement, and two-way interactive
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
that are conceivable.
Additionally
, the information gained through these programmes will not be forgotten easily. A recent study found that
children
who learn from educational applications can gain the materials tripled rather than those who learn from books.
On the other hand
, those who oppose using educational applications from
gadgets
may point out the potential damages. The excessive usage of
gadgets
may decrease
attention
Correct article usage
the attention
show examples
span of
children
since there are several addictive applications and games that
spread
Add a missing verb
are spread
show examples
out over the internet.
Moreover
, consuming
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
from tablets and smartphones without restriction will increase the possibility of exposure to inappropriate content for
children
. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, despite some detrimental effects
such
as attention span derivation and
over exposure
Add a hyphen
over-exposure
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
inappropriate content,
however
, I believe that parental control and supervision can mitigate some risks of technology use by
children
while
not stifling the benefits
such
as the attractive
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
that are conceivable.
Submitted by hiitsmeee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should serve its purpose well: the introduction to present the topic, the body to discuss points thoroughly, and the conclusion to summarize and state your opinion clearly.
development
Focus on developing main points with more specific examples and evidence for a more compelling argument. While some examples are given, they can be further elaborated to effectively support your claims.
linking
Use connecting words and phrases to enhance the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs, thereby strengthening the essay's cohesion.
task completion
Fully address all parts of the task prompt. While the essay does engage with the advantages and disadvantages, make sure to conclusively address whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages to completely fulfill the task requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interactive
  • Engaging
  • Customized learning experiences
  • Self-directed learning
  • Accommodating
  • Over-reliance
  • Distraction
  • Addictive apps
  • Social interaction
  • Inappropriate content
  • Parental control
  • Supervision
  • Technological proficiency
  • Screen time
  • Holistic educational experience
  • Cognitive development
  • Attention spans
  • Physical activity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: