* In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

Today, there is a belief among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

several countries

people

regarding the

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

importance of owning a

home

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

renting one. In

this

essay,

this

topic will be discussed and given the effective factors related to

this

case. In some nations, owning a

constant

Correct word choice

single

show examples

house is a very serious target for individuals. At

first,

it can be

due to

inappropriate economic conditions in a country. Under the circumstances,

people

who do not have a personal

home

feel

insecurity

Replace the word

insecure

show examples

constantly because of a decrease in the daily value of their money.

In addition

, they consider having a personal residence as a necessary investment.

On the other hand

, there is a traditional opinion about owning

the

Correct article usage

show examples

house. A group of

people

prefer to live in a constant

home

for a long time.

Therefore

, there are no concerns related to

cost

Add an article

the cost

show examples

of rent or relocation issues. In my view,

this

belief can be both positive and negative. Owning a

home

is a very important issue for each person especially when

this

individual has a family and children.

Whereas

, renting a place can

also

be a proper choice

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if the government provides a correct economic situation for the community.

People

can enjoy diverse locations and

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

new experiences by renting various houses. To summarize, owning a place is a main element that can help everyone feel mentally safe.

However

, renting a house can be very interesting and give humans special achievements. I personally think

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

issue depends on the lifestyle of each person,

also

the

community

Change noun form

community's

show examples

economic

situations

Fix the agreement mistake

situation

show examples

Submitted by MinaDadashi1376 on Wed Jan 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear logical sequence of ideas. Consider using paragraphing to group related information effectively. Employ a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the connections between ideas.

coherence cohesion

A strong introduction and conclusion are present, but further refinement could enhance clarity. Work on crafting a more engaging opening statement and a more impactful final thought that summarizes the essay's main arguments and reflects back to the prompt effectively.

coherence cohesion

To support main points more convincingly, expand on your ideas with detailed examples or explanations. Use specific instances or data to illustrate your points rather than general statements.

task achievement

For task achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Develop your ideas with detailed explanations and demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Clear and comprehensive ideas are essential. Work on developing your thoughts more thoroughly, ensuring that each paragraph presents a cohesive argument that builds on the previous one.

task achievement

Integrate relevant and specific examples within your essay to support your points. Examples give weight to your arguments and demonstrate a deeper level of understanding and engagement with the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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* In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

1.Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries

you are looking for a full time job. write a letter to an employent agency. introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have

Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: •explain what you are currently doing • describe your suitability for this area of work • say when you can attend an interview

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends, which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?