Some people think that young criminals should receive the same punishment as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Opinion

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In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

rapidly evolving world, crime become a major issue across
allover
Correct your spelling
all over

The word allover doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the world. Some folks
beileve
Correct your spelling
believe

If you don’t want beileve to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that punishment should be equal for every age group, either young or
teenegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers

If you don’t want teenegers to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. I firmly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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pupil
Add an article
the pupil
a pupil

The noun phrase pupil seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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should pay the price
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their actions and get
same
Change the article
the same

It appears that the phrase same lesson does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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lesson for all ages. First and foremost, the
week
Correct your spelling
weak

The word week doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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law system is the main cause of crimes in our nation. Some
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents

It seems that adolescent may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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know the
loop holes
Correct your spelling
loopholes

The word loop holes seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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of the system and they are fully aware
about
Change the preposition
of

The preposition about after the adjective aware may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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the punishments for younger
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages

It seems that age may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, that's why they have no fear when you doing something wrong and know how to protect
after
Correct pronoun usage
themselves after

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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any unlawful act.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In India, one of the shameful rape
case
Change to a plural noun
cases

The singular countable noun case follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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happened in 2010 and one of the
rapist
Change to a plural noun
rapists

The singular countable noun rapist follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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was 16 years old, just because of legislation, he didn't get any harsh punishment and now is living free.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your essay lacks a conclusion, which is essential for rounding off the discussion.
development
Develop your main points more fully with explanations and relevant examples. The provided example is relevant, but the point needs to be expanded upon for a stronger argument.
logic
Maintain a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, ensuring that one idea leads into the next seamlessly. The transition between the points you are making is abrupt.
task response
Respond to all parts of the task. Your essay does not currently provide a clear opinion or justification throughout, nor does it come to a decisive conclusion about your stand on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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