Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this develoment outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, more and more young
people
have chosen to leave their hometowns and move to metropolitan areas
in order to work and study. in my perspective, the reason mostly comes from opportunities available in large cities, and besides
I think those pros are worth more than the cons. In this
essay, I will clarify those causes and discuss whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Admittedly, there are so many reasons for this
phenomenon, but the first and foremost reason is the vast number of available jobs and qualified universities in urban areas
. For example
, Ho Chi Minh City is one of the main economic spots of Vietnam, so there are a lot of overseas companies and decent educated institutions that attract workforce and students each year. indeed, those companies in the city can tackle job problems then
pay higher salaries, and colleges and universities are good enough to afford the education required from students which are better than ones in the countryside. In addition
, working and studying in urban will help you meet new friends and have more facilities to entertain yourself such
as music festivals, malls, etc. For those reasons, they will increase the quantities of people
moving to work and study in cities.
According to
those advantages, I believe that the benefits will outweigh the drawbacks. Firstly
, when people
move to developed areas
then
they have to pay off for living away from home, so maybe this
will cause them to feel alone and desperate, moreover
, it comparatively means that each month you have to afford a higher amount of money for the accommodations which are low in the hometowns. Nevertheless
, those payoffs are worthy of a better life.
in conclusion, because of the numerous chances in the city so there are many young people
decided to work and study there, although
there are a few difficulties when moving to urban areas
, the advantages still outweigh and are more worthy
.Replace the word
worthwhile
Submitted by nguyenhuyhoa1506 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides relevant arguments, but you should further develop your examples to strengthen your points. Instead of mentioning general benefits and drawbacks, give specific, detailed examples to illustrate precisely how the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is sound but can be improved. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main topic sentence, and the following sentences elaborate on that topic. The transition between ideas should be smooth, using a wider range of linking words.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, however, the introduction could better preview the arguments you will discuss, and the conclusion could more decisively state your position. Refrain from introducing new ideas in the conclusion and focus on summarizing the key points made in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Remember to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and enhance sentence variety. Using a mix of simple and complex sentences can make your essay more interesting and easier to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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