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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about the price of tickets on one airline between Sydney and Melbourne, Australia, over a two-week period in 2013.

The charts below give information about the price of tickets on one airline between Sydney and Melbourne, Australia, over a two-week period in 2013.
#information #price #tickets #airline #sydney #melbourne #australia #period
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Two
Correct article usage
The two
show examples
 graphs above
compared
Wrong verb form
compare
show examples
 the
price
 fluctuation of the airfare ticket
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 2 routes (
Sydney
 to
Melbourne
 and
Melbourne
 to
Sydney
). The data was
gatherd
Correct your spelling
gathered
 within a two-
week
 observation in 2013
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 illustrated in the local currency of Australia.
In
Change preposition
Overall
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overall
,
both
flight
 routes had a similar tendency
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the time when the
price
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 and dropped. In the first
week
,
both
 airplane ticket
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 dropped almost 50% from Monday to Tuesday.
Both
 ticket fees turned steady at the same
price
 of 35 AUD for 2 days for
Sydney
 to
Melbourne
,
while
 the opposite
flight
 had one more day.
Moreover
,
this
 stable trend
also
 occurred in the second
week
 on the same days. Meanwhile,
both
flight's
Change noun form
flights'
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 peak on Friday, before
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 started to gradually fall throughout the weekend. In the second
week
, the departure from
Melbourne
 to
Sydney
 kicked off with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lower
price
 compared to the departure from
Sydney
.
Besides
 the identic trend to the first
week
, during the weekend, the
price
 for
Melbourne
 to
Sydney
flight
Fix the agreement mistake
flights
show examples
 remained stable. Meanwhile, the
flight
 from
Sydney
 fell to the stable fee as the
flight
 from
Melbourne
 at 50 AUD.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words price, sydney, melbourne, both, flight, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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