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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
The purpose of
this
 letter is to request
further
 care and monitoring for Mrs. Brampton who was a smoker from the age of 18. She
got
Verb problem
was
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 admitted
in
Change preposition
to
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 our home on 10/01/2011 with complaints of excessive smoking
about
Change preposition
of about
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 10 cigarettes per
day
. She was overweight with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 BMI of 29. She has bad chest
Xray
Correct your spelling
X-ray
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 signs. She
treated
Add a missing verb
was treated
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 with IV Amoxycillin with
supplememtary
Correct your spelling
supplementary
 O2 therapy. Her BP was 170/90 mmHg and
pulse
Correct pronoun usage
her pulse
show examples
 was 92. She seems to be
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
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 breathless. She has
productive
Add an article
a productive
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 cough. Her sputum was collected and
send
Wrong verb form
sent
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for culture. She was prescribed
with
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apply
show examples
Pravastatin 20mg/
day
 and Celecoxib 100mg/
day
. She has been widowed for 25 years. Before
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 she was with her husband and they ran the Sydney
road
Capitalize word
Road
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 newsagency until his death. She was advised to start deep breathing exercises and
non smoking
Add a hyphen
non-smoking
show examples
 regimen like Nicotine patches and
Zyban
 150mg twice a
day
. It would be greatly appreciated if you could ensure that she will adhere to
Add an article
the non
show examples
non smoking
Add a hyphen
non-smoking
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 regimen,
cessation
Correct word choice
and cessation
show examples
 of smoking with the help of
nicotinepatches
Correct your spelling
nicotine patches
 and
Zyban
. Kindly advise her about
side
Correct article usage
the side
show examples
 effects of
Zyban
such
 as dry mouth and difficulty
in
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apply
show examples
sleeping. If it occurs
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 her to stop
Zyban
. Please do not hesitate to contact me in case of any queries. Yours Sincerely Charge nurse
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
Please ensure your essay directly addresses the question asked. Your submission seems to be a letter requesting medical care rather than an essay discussing university education topics.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs each presenting a specific point, and a conclusion summarizing your stance or findings.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and points. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that clearly states the point you'll discuss in that paragraph.
task achievement
Back up your points with examples or evidence. When discussing views or presenting your opinion, include specific reasons or examples to support your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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