IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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Introduction
It is often heard that older
generations
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 tend to hold traditional beliefs about how individuals should live, think, and behave. Some
people
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 believe these views
are corresponding
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correspond
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 to modern society. I completely agree with
this
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 statement because
such
Linking Words
 ideas can limit progress and do not always reflect the realities of contemporary life.
Body · 1
Firstly
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, a traditional view often restricts individual choice and
a
Correct article usage
apply
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societal development. Older
generations
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 may expect young
people
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 to follow predefined paths in education or lifestyle, which can prevent them from exploring their true interests and abilities. In today’s world, creativity and productivity are crucial for success, and firm expectations can hold the younger
generations
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 back. As an example, a teenager who is under pressure to pursue a stable career rather than one following a passion could perhaps feel unfulfilled and less motivated in the long term.
Body · 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, many traditional thoughts are outdated and do not match the needs of modern society. Advances in technology
Linking Words
along
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, along
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 with changes in social values and the
globalization
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globalisation
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 of
cultures
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cultures,
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 have
overtime
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over time
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 transformed how
people
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 live but
also
Linking Words
 work. Ideas that were once relevant could
be now
Correct word order
now be
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 impractical or even harmful.
For instance
Linking Words
, older
behaviors
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behaviours
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 towards gender roles may discourage equality and limit opportunities for both men and women in today’s world.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that the ideas held by older
generations
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 are often unhelpful in preparing young
people
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 for modern life, as they can restrict and fail to reflect current social and economic realities. In a society like ours
which
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, which
show examples
 is progressing every day, the elderly tend to have unrealistic opinions, unaware of the
subit
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subtle
 changes.

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task response
State your main view in a very direct way in the first part, and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Give one more clear example to show how old ideas are not good for young people now.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more deeply, so each main point feels fully built.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts join well, but a few lines feel a little forced.
coherence and cohesion
Check article use and word form, because small grammar problems can make your meaning less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea, then add support in a smooth order.
task response
You answer the question clearly and you show a strong opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape with an opening, two body parts, and an ending.
task response
You use examples about career choice and gender roles, which fit the topic well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditional ideas
  • Modern life
  • Younger generations
  • Stability
  • Guidance
  • Foundation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Rigid gender roles
  • Resistance to new technologies
  • Adaptability
  • Innovative solutions
  • Respecting elders
  • Maintaining family bonds
  • Stifle progress
  • Fusion of ideas
  • Outdated values
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