IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is argued
many
Correct word choice
that many
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 people think that the old
generation
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's traditional
way
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 of living is not good for the new
generation
Use synonyms
's development in modern life.
While
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 I agree with the fact that the traditional
way
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 of keeping up with life is ancient and ancestral
knowledge
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, I believe that they
also
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 have to adapt these techniques to the new world, so I believe that the old
generation
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 has a role in our growth in modern life. In every moment of
history
Add a comma
history,
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 the human species has needed ancient
knowledge
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 as a base to get
further
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,
therefore
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 they have invented lots of things. Even though they do not only keep ancestral ways of living or thinking, they naturally adapt to new environments to survive better.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
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 natural instincts
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the new
generation
Use synonyms
 learns from the old one to keep up the society's
knowledge
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 level and develop it.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 my parents taught me how to act in public, the
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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. And without them teaching me
this
Linking Words
, everyone would look at me weirdly in the streets.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 we do not have to base our lives on the
way
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 of seeing the planet. Because not everything they did in their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 is nowadays acceptable. The context has changed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the vision of some newborns transformed the
way
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 humans work.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 my friends' grandparents think that technology does not increase productivity, but with new AI tools, we can do stuff much faster than we could before.
To conclude
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, ancestral
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is important for us to get our base. But we have to build and adapt new creations and discoveries to it
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 we are not marginalised from society.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 we are integrated into groups and not starting up from zero.

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task response
Plan a clear view in one sentence in the intro and restate it in the end. State your view simply.
structure
In the body, use one idea per paragraph and explain it with a simple example.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words like and, but, also, then to help flow.
grammar
Check grammar and tense errors and use simple verb forms.
vocabulary
Use only common words and short sentences to keep clear meaning.
structure
Has an intro, body and conclusion.
content
Gives real examples from life.
argument
Shows view and a mix of old and new ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditional ideas
  • Modern life
  • Younger generations
  • Stability
  • Guidance
  • Foundation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Rigid gender roles
  • Resistance to new technologies
  • Adaptability
  • Innovative solutions
  • Respecting elders
  • Maintaining family bonds
  • Stifle progress
  • Fusion of ideas
  • Outdated values
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