The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Older family members
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
to have a different point of view of today’s lifestyle.
Consequently
, some people think that
this
way of thinking does not help to prepare new generations for modern life.
This
essay totally agrees with that statement. I believe that kids may get used to traditional
ideas
if their parents think that way
as a result
of discrimination against other kids
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
do think with another point of view.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
kids have to be prepared for professional life and may have modern
ideas
for success. Old generations believe in different things than younger ones.
Firstly
, if
children
get used to those traditional
ideas
, they may not like new ways of thinking and could even discriminate against other boys or girls
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
do agree with modern thoughts.
For example
,
last
year in my school they kicked out a child for bullying another for being gay.
This
would not have arrived if parents taught
children
to accept it.
On the other hand
,
this
is
also
a problem because if
children
have closed minds they will not succeed in professional life. They have to accept today’s
ideas
to please the customers and be good workers.
For instance
, if someone works in marketing, they may try to sell the products and for
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
these
Add a comma
these,
show examples
they have to please the customer, something difficult if they have a closed mind.
To conclude
, it is important that young generations get used to new
ideas
even if they do not agree with them,
this
could help them to learn to live with other people, of different religions, countries and maybe homosexual,
transgender
Correct word choice
and transgender
show examples
… citizens. So parents should teach their
children
to accept every way of thinking.
Submitted by santos_dij on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly present your thesis statement on the issue. Each body paragraph should contain one main idea supported by relevant examples and explanations. The conclusion should restate your thesis and summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
Connect your ideas with appropriate linking words and cohesive devices to make your argument flow logically. It is essential to guide the reader through your essay with clear progressions from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task to achieve a higher score. In the introduction, rephrase the topic and state your opinion clearly. Include a mix of both general statements and specific details throughout the essay to support your points. Each body paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea.
task achievement
Use a range of relevant examples to support each point you make. While personal anecdotes can be effective, try to include broader examples, data, or references that show a wider perspective on the issue. Specific examples enhance the strength of your arguments and demonstrate the ability to use evidence effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: