The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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Older family members

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

to have a different point of view of today’s lifestyle.

Consequently

Linking Words

, some people think that

this

Linking Words

way of thinking does not help to prepare new generations for modern life.

This

Linking Words

essay totally agrees with that statement. I believe that kids may get used to traditional

ideas

Use synonyms

if their parents think that way

as a result

Linking Words

of discrimination against other kids

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

do think with another point of view.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

kids have to be prepared for professional life and may have modern

ideas

Use synonyms

for success. Old generations believe in different things than younger ones.

Firstly

Linking Words

, if

children

Use synonyms

get used to those traditional

ideas

Use synonyms

, they may not like new ways of thinking and could even discriminate against other boys or girls

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

do agree with modern thoughts.

For example

Linking Words

last

Linking Words

year in my school they kicked out a child for bullying another for being gay.

This

Linking Words

would not have arrived if parents taught

children

Use synonyms

to accept it.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

a problem because if

children

Use synonyms

have closed minds they will not succeed in professional life. They have to accept today’s

ideas

Use synonyms

to please the customers and be good workers.

For instance

Linking Words

, if someone works in marketing, they may try to sell the products and for

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

these

Add a comma

these,

show examples

they have to please the customer, something difficult if they have a closed mind.

To conclude

Linking Words

, it is important that young generations get used to new

ideas

Use synonyms

even if they do not agree with them,

this

Linking Words

could help them to learn to live with other people, of different religions, countries and maybe homosexual,

transgender

Correct word choice

and transgender

show examples

… citizens. So parents should teach their

children

Use synonyms

to accept every way of thinking.

santos_dijThu Jan 25 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly present your thesis statement on the issue. Each body paragraph should contain one main idea supported by relevant examples and explanations. The conclusion should restate your thesis and summarize your main points.

coherence cohesion

Connect your ideas with appropriate linking words and cohesive devices to make your argument flow logically. It is essential to guide the reader through your essay with clear progressions from one idea to the next.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task to achieve a higher score. In the introduction, rephrase the topic and state your opinion clearly. Include a mix of both general statements and specific details throughout the essay to support your points. Each body paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea.

task achievement

Use a range of relevant examples to support each point you make. While personal anecdotes can be effective, try to include broader examples, data, or references that show a wider perspective on the issue. Specific examples enhance the strength of your arguments and demonstrate the ability to use evidence effectively.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Traditional ideas
Modern life
Younger generations
Stability
Guidance
Foundation
Cultural heritage
Rigid gender roles
Resistance to new technologies
Adaptability
Innovative solutions
Respecting elders
Maintaining family bonds
Stifle progress
Fusion of ideas
Outdated values

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