Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc.to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There has been an intriguing debate between those who believe younger generations should pursue
university
and others who argue practical education may be the best solution for a better society. Even though both sides have their concerns that affect their opinion, I believe the
university
path offers a greater
chance
for students to discover their life purpose. Allowing teenagers to continue higher education will give them a wider opportunity to explore their career choices. Not only
they
Add a missing verb
do they
show examples
get to master a specific field, but it will
also
provide them with the
chance
to connect with like-minded people and build a community
while
doing it.
Hence
,
college
Add an article
the college
show examples
serves as a catalyst for their professional growth before entering the real world, preparing them for a competitive job market.
For instance
, a student who is passionate about entrepreneurship would have the privilege of being exposed to an experienced businessman which happened to be an alumnus of the same major. Considering their similar backgrounds, it would be much easier for him to learn from his experiences
while
maintaining a relationship with him at the same time. I see
this
as an investment for a better life, so, college
Correct your spelling
tuition
tuitions
tutitions
Correct your spelling
tuition
is a small price to pay
However
, there are other options for some students.
This
phenomenon happened mainly
due to
the lack of financial stability.
Moreover
, pressure from family members to work as soon as possible eventually ruled them out of
university
experiences. In light of
this
issue, practical training offers the
chance
to learn profitable specialized skills that seize up their career opportunity. By choosing the latter, they can make use of their learning experience faster than
university
graduates without heavy implications on their financial ability. Unfortunately, selecting
this
path means lessening their
chance
to create a greater change career-wise because the environment does not support quality networking. In conclusion, both opinions are adequate since every situation requires different approaches. Either of them serves ample opportunities;
therefore
, the best decision relies on individual wants and needs. If it were me, a higher education level would be a priority as it includes better networking opportunities.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction provides a clear overview of the essay topic but consider providing a more precise thesis statement reflecting your opinion.
Support & Examples
Develop your main ideas further with more relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. The inclusion of clear examples will show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on paragraph structure, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and is expanded on. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to aid in logical flow.
Task Response
For a higher score in Task Response, ensure your position is relevant and clear throughout the essay. Your personal opinion came through in the conclusion but make sure to maintain this clarity consistently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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