Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is no denying the fact that many states seek to enhance the conditions of living by improving their economy,
as a result
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, several social values are being lost.
While
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there is a commonly held belief that it is important to enhance the standard of living regardless of its impact, there is
also
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an argument that countries should preserve their own social values.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, governments are responsible for encountering poverty by improving the economy which will affect people's lives.
In other words
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,
by
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apply
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doing
this
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,
it
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apply
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will prevent people from committing crimes because they want to have a better life.
This
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may lead to a massive decrease in violence and crimes.
For example
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, in developing countries, the criminal rate is high because of
poor
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the poor
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condition of living, which will affect individuals' security.
On the other hand
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, there are undeniable challenges associated with focusing only on improving the economy
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as losing the ethical values of society. It is
also
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possible to say that concentrating only on money may lead society to become more materialistic and lose its humanity.
Moreover
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, it causes individuals to look after their own interests without thinking of others.
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,
this
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trend often appears in advanced countries, which have a high level of living but a lack of empathy between each other but at the same time, the low rates of crime are remarkable. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question, On balance, in my opinion, I think the advantages of improving people's lives outweigh the downsides because doing
this
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, will give them better lives and prevent them from doing bad things.
Submitted by YT on

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task achievement
While your essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, consider expanding on how specific social values are lost in economic development. Providing more detailed examples can help strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to use connecting words and phrases more purposefully to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will guide your readers more smoothly through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction provides a very clear overview of the essay topic and sets up the discussion effectively, engaging readers from the start.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of economic development clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • quality of life
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare
  • education
  • job opportunities
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • traditional cultural values
  • social bonds
  • material wealth
  • consumerism
  • social inequality
  • environmental conservation
  • wealth gap
  • vulnerable groups
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