Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is no denying the fact that many states seek to enhance the conditions of living by improving their economy,

as a result

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, several social values are being lost.

While

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there is a commonly held belief that it is important to enhance the standard of living regardless of its impact, there is

also

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an argument that countries should preserve their own social values.

This

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essay will analyse

this

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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, governments are responsible for encountering poverty by improving the economy which will affect people's lives.

In other words

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Change preposition

apply

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doing

this

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Correct pronoun usage

apply

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will prevent people from committing crimes because they want to have a better life.

This

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may lead to a massive decrease in violence and crimes.

For example

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, in developing countries, the criminal rate is high because of

poor

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the poor

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condition of living, which will affect individuals' security.

On the other hand

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, there are undeniable challenges associated with focusing only on improving the economy

such

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as losing the ethical values of society. It is

also

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possible to say that concentrating only on money may lead society to become more materialistic and lose its humanity.

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, it causes individuals to look after their own interests without thinking of others.

For instance

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this

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trend often appears in advanced countries, which have a high level of living but a lack of empathy between each other but at the same time, the low rates of crime are remarkable. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question, On balance, in my opinion, I think the advantages of improving people's lives outweigh the downsides because doing

this

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, will give them better lives and prevent them from doing bad things.

YT Sun Jan 19 2025

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task achievement

While your essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, consider expanding on how specific social values are lost in economic development. Providing more detailed examples can help strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to use connecting words and phrases more purposefully to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will guide your readers more smoothly through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction provides a very clear overview of the essay topic and sets up the discussion effectively, engaging readers from the start.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of economic development clearly.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
economic development
quality of life
infrastructure
healthcare
education
job opportunities
unemployment
poverty
technological advancements
innovation
traditional cultural values
social bonds
material wealth
consumerism
social inequality
environmental conservation
wealth gap
vulnerable groups

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Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper of books becasue they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that children’s time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Cause of bullying in school are increasing and worsening What do you think are the causes of this? How can we tackle this issue?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?