Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
There is no denying the fact that many states seek to enhance the conditions of living by improving their economy,
as a result
, several social values are being lost. Linking Words
While
there is a commonly held belief that it is important to enhance the standard of living regardless of its impact, there is Linking Words
also
an argument that countries should preserve their own social values. Linking Words
This
essay will analyse Linking Words
this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
On one hand, governments are responsible for encountering poverty by improving the economy which will affect people's lives. Linking Words
In other words
, Linking Words
by
doing Change preposition
apply
this
, Linking Words
it
will prevent people from committing crimes because they want to have a better life. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
may lead to a massive decrease in violence and crimes. Linking Words
For example
, in developing countries, the criminal rate is high because of Linking Words
poor
condition of living, which will affect individuals' security.
Add an article
the poor
On the other hand
, there are undeniable challenges associated with focusing only on improving the economy Linking Words
such
as losing the ethical values of society. It is Linking Words
also
possible to say that concentrating only on money may lead society to become more materialistic and lose its humanity. Linking Words
Moreover
, it causes individuals to look after their own interests without thinking of others. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
this
trend often appears in advanced countries, which have a high level of living but a lack of empathy between each other but at the same time, the low rates of crime are remarkable.
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to Linking Words
this
question, On balance, in my opinion, I think the advantages of improving people's lives outweigh the downsides because doing Linking Words
this
, will give them better lives and prevent them from doing bad things.Linking Words
Submitted by YT
on
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task achievement
While your essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, consider expanding on how specific social values are lost in economic development. Providing more detailed examples can help strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to use connecting words and phrases more purposefully to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will guide your readers more smoothly through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction provides a very clear overview of the essay topic and sets up the discussion effectively, engaging readers from the start.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of economic development clearly.