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Band 6.5

the graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1920 to 20202, with predictions for 2030 and 2040

the graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1920 to 20202, with predictions for 2030 and 2040
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The graph provides information about the percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
 in Asian dwelling in cities between 1970 and 2020 and
also
Linking Words
 with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
There
Correct pronoun usage
Four
show examples
 are illustrated
four
Change preposition
in four
show examples
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Philippines
Use synonyms
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, Thailand,
Use synonyms
Indonesia
Correct word choice
and Indonesia
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people who are living in the cities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing throughout all years in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some fluctuations but with the
predication
Correct your spelling
prediction
show examples
 of
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 in the future.
Use synonyms
Population
Add an article
The population
show examples
 of
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 and Thailand started from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less than 20% and reached 30% in 2000.
However
Linking Words
,
then
Linking Words
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 prevalently was growing and even in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future have predictions of achieving 60% of city dwellers. Comparatively, Thailand remained
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30% until 2020. It is guessed that there will be
rise
Add an article
the rise
a rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
population
Use synonyms
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
 than 40%
until
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2040. Meantime, in comparison
these
Change preposition
to these
show examples
 countries, most
population
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 (30 %) and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 (above 30%) lived in cities in 1970.
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
The Philippines
show examples
 had some fluctuation between 1970 and 2010, and
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 have started to go up. At the same time,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
’s city
population
Use synonyms
 is enduring only
prevalent
Correct article usage
a prevalent
show examples
 rise and achieved more than 70 % in 2020 and
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 predictions of reaching 80%
until
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2040
Submitted by nurayeva_b on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, philippines, malaysia, indonesia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
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