The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The current lifestyle is easier than ever in the history of humankind, fast access to vital resources, technological facilities and safety in most of the countries around the world, have made
people
more sedentary and less independent. Hence
, I strongly consider these luxuries and amenities prevent
Fix the infinitive
to prevent
people
from developing into truly and
independent individuals. In Correct word choice
apply
this
essay, I will emphasize my agreement to
the aforementioned notion based on how survival skills are Change preposition
with
being
affected in front of a crisis.
Unnecessary verb
apply
To begin
, water and food are the vital resources of human beings for living, these were a difficult challenge for first humans on Earth. Although
, intelligence and strong survival skills inherent to homo sapiens became the dominant species. As a result
, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
humans do not hunt or cultivate seeds, the food and water comes from Correct article usage
apply
the
nature to the table or restaurant of Correct article usage
apply
its
preference. Correct pronoun usage
their
Nevertheless
, this
simplicity implies the lost
of natural abilities in front of pandemics. Replace the word
loss
For instance
, the quarantine derived of
COVID-19 in 2020 Change preposition
from
supposed
a real challenge for humankind Add a missing verb
is supposed
due to
extreme measures of getting close among them.
Secondly
, technological facilities and safety around the world develop a "comfy and cozy
" way to live and obtain information with any effort. The primitive strategies and complex problem-solving solutions used to Change the spelling
cosy
thrived
throughout decades have been disappearing. To clarify, only 5% of Wrong verb form
thrive
people
in the world think about how technologies function instead
of Wrong verb form
enjoying
enjoy
them. Wrong verb form
enjoying
This
might be a problem when a war emerges. For example
, the nation of Palestine suffers
Wrong verb form
suffered
the
attacks from Israel, Correct article usage
apply
the
only thing Correct word choice
and the
people
can do is wait for a diplomat
recession. They lost their capacity Replace the word
diplomatic
of being
resilient and independent.
Change preposition
to be
To sum up
, I understand that global empathy and solidarity as a global benefit is better than fight
as monkeys. But the extreme sight of Wrong verb form
fighting
this
could be counterproductive since promote
weakening physical and mental strength and Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
become
us more vulnerable. Verb problem
makes
Therefore
, I agree that our society is not strong and over-reliance individually.Submitted by natalyrau13 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and indicates your position regarding the statement. Likewise, your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position clearly.
cohesion
Work on creating a logical flow between paragraphs. Make use of cohesive devices such as transition words to bridge ideas more effectively.
argument development
Develop your main points fully by exploring them in depth and providing a balanced view. While it's important to support your argument, also consider the counterarguments or nuances of the topic.
content development
To achieve a more complete response, extend your essay by including a paragraph that addresses potential counterarguments to your position or acknowledges complexities in the issue. This will demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
examples
Support your main points with specific examples. Instead of general statements, include examples that are particular and detailed, which will lend authenticity and credibility to your essay.
grammar
Try to check your essay for grammatical errors and sentence structure issues that may hinder clarity. Complex sentences are good but focus also on their accuracy and clarity.