Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
In
this
contemporary era, people spend
busy Verb problem
have
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Then
maintain
good Wrong verb form
maintaining
helathy
is Correct your spelling
healthy
health
Correct article usage
a challenged
challenged
. Soke Replace the word
challenge
claim
that exercise is the best way to stay healthy. Correct subject-verb agreement
claims
While
others point out that a balanced diet
is more essential. I strongly agree with both of Correct article usage
the argument
argument
. Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
Nonetheless
, in this
essay
I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs.
Add a comma
essay,
On the other hand
, exercise keeps our body organs active and energetic. Everyone knows doing exercises
have
numerous benefits for our Correct subject-verb agreement
has
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
As well as
, medical officers always give advices
to their patients about Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
value
of Add an article
the value
exercises
. Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
For instance
, some exercises
such
as running, jogging and skipping make our body parts move constantly. As a result
, our metabolism rate increases, blood flows easily to our veins, control our blood pressure and sugar level. Furthermore
, doing physical activities help
to control stress. In Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
other word
, exercise cause maintain mental health. As an example, if someone suffers the anxiety, Change the wording
another word
other words
then
person
can Add an article
the person
a person
to
like brisk Change the verb form
apply
walk
, which Replace the word
walking
help
to change Change the verb form
helps
person's
mind and refresh. Correct article usage
a person's
According to
what has been already discussed, there are many advantages of doing exercises
. It leads to Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
Correct article usage
a helthy
helthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
life
. Therefore
, exeris
the key to Correct your spelling
exercise
experts
exerts
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
hehealthy
.
On the one hand, critics may point outCorrect your spelling
healthy
a
balanced Correct word choice
that a
diet
is significant
important. It is prominent that Nutrients Change the adjective
significantly
amd
minerals are very essential for our Correct your spelling
and
life
. If we do not get sufficient
amount of nutrition, Correct article usage
a sufficient
then
, we suffer from malnutrition. As a result
, persons
suffer from Replace the word
people
list
of bad diseases. Add an article
a list
Therefore
, a balanced diet
can not be overlooked.
In conclusion, exercises
and a balanced Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
diet
have an undeniable influence on society. Some are believe
Change the verb form
believe
exercises
play a vital role rather than a balanced diet
. I firmly believe that both notions are supremely important while
we spend
Verb problem
have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
life
.Submitted by dshansika97 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to write a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement. Avoid disjointed sentences and focus on a logical flow of ideas. Use a range of linking phrases to improve cohesion.
task achievement
Support each main idea with clear and specific examples. Do not just state that something is beneficial; explain how and why it is beneficial, giving real-life examples where possible.
coherence cohesion
Reread your conclusion to ensure that it summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, without introducing new information. Aim for a balance of complex and simple sentences to demonstrate linguistic ability.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammar, punctuation, and spelling to enhance clarity. Simple issues such as capitalization and sentence separation can greatly impact the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Focus on answering all parts of the question. Give appropriate weight to discussing both views, and make sure to include a clear opinion in the conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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