Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In
this
contemporary era, people
spend
Verb problem
have
show examples
busy
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Then
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
good
helathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
health
is
Correct article usage
a challenged
show examples
challenged
Replace the word
challenge
show examples
. Soke
claim
Correct subject-verb agreement
claims
show examples
that exercise is the best way to stay healthy.
While
others point out that a balanced
diet
is more essential. I strongly agree with both of
Correct article usage
the argument
show examples
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
.
Nonetheless
, in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs.
On the other hand
, exercise keeps our body organs active and energetic. Everyone knows doing
exercises
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
numerous benefits for our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
As well as
, medical officers always give
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
to their patients about
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
of
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
.
For instance
, some
exercises
such
as running, jogging and skipping make our body parts move constantly.
As a result
, our metabolism rate increases, blood flows easily to our veins, control our blood pressure and sugar level.
Furthermore
, doing physical activities
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to control stress. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, exercise cause maintain mental health. As an example, if someone suffers the anxiety,
then
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
can
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
like brisk
walk
Replace the word
walking
show examples
, which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
to change
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
mind and refresh.
According to
what has been already discussed, there are many advantages of doing
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
. It leads to
Correct article usage
a helthy
show examples
helthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
life
.
Therefore
,
exeris
Correct your spelling
exercise
experts
exerts
the key to
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
hehealthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
. On the one hand, critics may point out
a
Correct word choice
that a
show examples
balanced
diet
is
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
important. It is prominent that Nutrients
amd
Correct your spelling
and
minerals are very essential for our
life
. If we do not get
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
show examples
amount of nutrition,
then
, we suffer from malnutrition.
As a result
,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
suffer from
list
Add an article
a list
show examples
of bad diseases.
Therefore
, a balanced
diet
can not be overlooked. In conclusion,
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
and a balanced
diet
have an undeniable influence on society. Some
are believe
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
exercises
play a vital role rather than a balanced
diet
. I firmly believe that both notions are supremely important
while
we
spend
Verb problem
have
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
.
Submitted by dshansika97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to write a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement. Avoid disjointed sentences and focus on a logical flow of ideas. Use a range of linking phrases to improve cohesion.
task achievement
Support each main idea with clear and specific examples. Do not just state that something is beneficial; explain how and why it is beneficial, giving real-life examples where possible.
coherence cohesion
Reread your conclusion to ensure that it summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, without introducing new information. Aim for a balance of complex and simple sentences to demonstrate linguistic ability.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammar, punctuation, and spelling to enhance clarity. Simple issues such as capitalization and sentence separation can greatly impact the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Focus on answering all parts of the question. Give appropriate weight to discussing both views, and make sure to include a clear opinion in the conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: