In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
, most of the advertisements of different
products
show that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they are different and unique compared to the goods produced by other companies. Though blatant
self promotion
Add a hyphen
self-promotion
show examples
is considered as the key feature of an
advertisement
, it is possible to spread wrong information using
this
promotional
way
.
Firstly
, the main reason to
brodcast
Correct your spelling
broadcast
promotional videos is
attaracting
Correct your spelling
attracting
customers and make them buying own
products
. So, it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
obvious that business ventures will try to prove the uniqueness of their
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
.
Additionally
, whether the customers get nothing new in a product, they will use or buy some selective things they are used to.
Moreover
, launching a new brand will face a sharp decline if the businesspersons behind it
fails
Change the verb form
fail
show examples
to introduce it to the consumers mentioning that
this
is something better than
you
Correct pronoun usage
what you
show examples
are using right now.
For instance
, coca-cola and
pepsi
Change the capitalization
Pepsi
show examples
are two different competent
brand
Change to a plural noun
brands
show examples
from
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
early age. Both of those
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
try to glorify their
products
worldwide. If one of them
stop
Correct subject-verb agreement
stops
show examples
aggressive promotion,
people
will forget soon about
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
existence. We are unable to blame a
company
for highlighting their
products
through
advertisement
, where the main target is more
sell
Replace the word
sales
show examples
than others, it's not possible to stop a
company
. Taking
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
advantage of free
advertisement
, a remarkable number of companies try to misuse
this
chance. Spending a huge amount of money they promote their
products
which are below the
marks
Fix the agreement mistake
mark
show examples
.
In Addition
,
people
fall for
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
scams
watching
Change preposition
by watching
show examples
attractive
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it is one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
to inform
people
about an excellent good. we can know about
life saving
Add a hyphen
life-saving
show examples
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
in
this
way
. We can take sanitary napkins as an example. without
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
marketing, it would be difficult to
nomalize
Correct your spelling
normalize
this
life saving
Add a hyphen
life-saving
show examples
product for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women. we will not discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
any
company
but all the companies
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
promoting their napkins are doing great to inform
people
that, usage of
this
product can save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women from different diseases.
Advertisement
is the part of the modern business. we can not ignore
this
way
or can not stop a
company
to articulate
Change preposition
from articulating
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
products
. Though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
It is mostly positive, there are
also
negative sides. I think, It can be marked as
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
development but the buyers should be careful and not hurry
for buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
something shiny without testing
first
Correct pronoun usage
it first
show examples
.
Submitted by ashiqbillah99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic, but the response could be more complete by directly taking a stance on whether the advertisement of new products is a positive or negative development, as asked in the question.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ideas are presented in a generally logical structure, but transitions and sentence connectors could be utilized more effectively to enhance the flow of information and argumentation.
Task Achievement
Support main points with specific examples to strengthen the argument. Qualify statements with clear examples that demonstrate why advertisement can be seen as positive or negative, rather than making broad claims.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points of the essay and directly respond to the essay prompt's questions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: