IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human activity has had a negative effect on plants and animal all over the world. Some people think that it is too late to do something about it. Others think there is still time to take effective action. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#activity #effect #plants #world #people #time #action
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The environment has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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had
Verb problem
apply
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been
Correct your spelling
affected
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effected
Correct your spelling
affected
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 by
humanity
Use synonyms
 for
millenia
Correct your spelling
millennia
. The destruction of natural habitats and the extinction of species are several consequences of
mans'
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man's
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devestating
Correct your spelling
devastating
 actions. Some people think there are ways to improve the situation,
while
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 others believe that nothing can be done to restore
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wildlife and stop the inevitable collapse of the planet. In
this
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 essay, I will take a closer view
on
Change preposition
of
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 both of these points and in the
end
Add a comma
end,
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 present my opinion. It is
wiledy
Correct your spelling
widely
 known, that
humanity
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 played a
crutial
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crucial
critical
 role in changing the environment since the Ice Ages.
First,
Linking Words
it uncontrollably hunted animals in the wild, leading many of them to
becomming
Correct your spelling
become
 endangered or extinct.
Then
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, humans began to actively transform the terrain by building farms and
cilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
cities
ciliates
, and that again had the same effect on the creatures that had populated these territories. It is obvious, that most of these actions cannot be undone and that
humanity
Use synonyms
 will have to live with the dire consequences.
On the other hand
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, governments all over the world are beginning to pay much more attention to environmental issues during the
last
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 decade. Numerous laws have been approved that stimulate the industry to
becomming
Correct your spelling
become
 more clean and nature-friendly. The expanded use of hybrid and electrical cars has reduced pollution levels in cities. Closing down of coal power plants and replacing them with solar panels improved the air in suburbs,
alowing
Correct your spelling
allowing
 wildlife to
nurish
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nourish
.
So
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To
show examples
 sum up,
while
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 certain effects cannot be undone, I believe there are always ways for
humanity
Use synonyms
 to take action and at least partially restore the original conditions in which plants and animals thrived centuries ago.
Submitted by fednastya000 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, along with supporting sentences that develop the idea further. Try to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs with better transitions and more varied sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarises the main arguments presented in the essay and clearly states your opinion. Your introduction should also introduce the topic and present a clear thesis statement which outlines your view.
task achievement
Develop your main points by supporting them with specific examples and reasons. Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to express these ideas more precisely. This will help in making your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Be attentive to spelling, grammatical accuracy, and word choice to enhance the overall clarity of your writing. Consider rephrasing sentences that might be unclear or awkward, and proofread your work to catch any errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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