In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts- music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Nowadays,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

people

Use synonyms

easily get famous in today's world without any

talent

Use synonyms

with the help of

Correct article usage

the interent

show examples

interent

Correct your spelling

Internet

and

technology

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

, those

people

Use synonyms

actually

Correct pronoun usage

who actually

show examples

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

talent

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can not get

name

Fix the agreement mistake

names

show examples

and fame in

this

Linking Words

world. I

also

Linking Words

agree with

this

Linking Words

statement as

teenage

Correct your spelling

teenagers

show examples

and young

people

Use synonyms

get handsome payout.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

advancement

Correct article usage

the advancement

show examples

technology

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

with no

talent

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become rich in

this

Linking Words

global

Change the word

globally

show examples

as they just need to upload their funny and other videos on

Correct article usage

the interent

show examples

interent

Correct your spelling

Internet

and need a great fan following to watch that video. So

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

, they become rich because most of the

applications owner

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application owners

show examples

pay better payout to the

user

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users

show examples

who upload

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video

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videos

show examples

on different

song

Fix the agreement mistake

songs

show examples

and

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

more than 1K

Replace the word

followers

show examples

on their

soical

Correct your spelling

social

media .

For example

Linking Words

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

pay large

amount

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amounts

show examples

moeny

Correct your spelling

money

to their regular user who

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

maximum

Correct article usage

a maximum

show examples

watchers on their

video

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videos

show examples

Body paragraph 2

Secondly

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

modern world

talent

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is not that

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

like having

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

good

sence

Correct your spelling

sense

humor

Change the spelling

humour

show examples

and knowledge about

technology

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the popluar

show examples

popluar

Correct your spelling

popular

singer of parmish verma ,who not having

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

voice but still having

name

Add an article

a name

the name

show examples

in richer

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

list because he edited his voice through voice changer application, even in one interview he

explain

Change the verb form

explains

show examples

about it .

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

this

Linking Words

mostly

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

campany

Correct your spelling

company

owner takes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modeler's

Change the spelling

modeller's

show examples

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media as they

also

Linking Words

need someone who can increase

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

Conclusion

In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

having

talent

Use synonyms

is one way to get popular and survive in the modern era ,

however

Linking Words

, stay

update

Replace the word

updated

show examples

with

technology

Use synonyms

is another method to earn

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

payout

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

the number of

application

Fix the agreement mistake

applications

show examples

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

instagrams

Correct your spelling

Instagram

and so on.

kirandkaur131

Jan 25, 2024

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Coherence Cohesion

To improve in Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more logically. Begin with an introductory paragraph that clearly states your opinion and what the essay will discuss. Use transition words to connect sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a single main idea that is developed coherently and that it relates to the thesis statement.

Task Achievement

In terms of Task Achievement, ensure that you fully address the task by discussing both sides of the argument and including a conclusion that summarizes your overall stance. To gain a higher score, expand on your ideas with more detailed and specific examples and explanations that clearly support your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts- music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?

If an individual acts in an anti-social way, such as committing the crime, who is to be blamed, society or the individual? what are the causes behind such behaviour? who should be responsible for this

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?