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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below shows the consumtion of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007

The graph below shows the consumtion of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007
#consumtion
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The line
chapt
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chart
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display
Correct subject-verb agreement
displays
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 the
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consumtion
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consumption
 of 3 spreads namely margarine, low fat and reduced spreads,
butter
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and butter
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 from 1981 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
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consumtion
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consumption
 of 3 spreads has decreased in 2007. The
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consumption
consumtion
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consumption
 of
low fat
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low-fat
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 and reduced
sperads
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spreads
 new started in 1996 the
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consumption
consumtion
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consumption
 of butter began
140
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at 140
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grams
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 in 1981 after which
this
Linking Words
 figure increased slowly
160
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to 160
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grams
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 in 1986
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and then
andthen
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and then
 fell sharply 50grams in 2007 the
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consumption
consumtion
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consumption
 of margarine started
about
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at about
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 99
grams
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 in 1981
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure
go
Wrong verb form
went
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 down
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slightly
slighly
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slightly
80
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to 80
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grams
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 in 1986
then
Linking Words
 grew
100
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to 100
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grams
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 in 1991 after which reduced rapidly
Change preposition
to
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40
grams
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 in 2007 the
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Correct your spelling
consumption
consumtion
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consumption
 of
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
 and reduced spreads began
about
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at about
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 10
grams
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 in 1996
increased
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and increased
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 dramatically
80
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to 80
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grams
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 in 2001 after
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decreased
deceased
dereased
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decreasing
 slowly
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
 70
grams
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 in 2007
Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumtion, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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