35.Due to the effects of globalization, the cultures of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a natural process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. What is your opinion about this? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

Now
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultures are influenced by others because of the effect of
globalization
, but it is not a
threat
if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
keep their
culture
, and believe
globalization
is only usually process.
Globalization
can not be denied because modern
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
must face
this
phase,
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
nowadays
globalization
runs fast. How big a wave of
globalization
comes to a country, it can not
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
some effects if the
people
keep their
culture
nevertheless
the
people
surely understand
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
culture
of
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own is better than another,
that's
Correct word choice
and that's
show examples
why it is not a
threat
. A
threat
to cultural
indentity
Correct your spelling
identity
is about the changing of the
culture
,
people
can not understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
culture
, feel
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shame
Correct your spelling
ashamed
show examples
to understand the
culture
even do not recognize their
culture
at all.
This
afraidness can be accepted, because some
people
do not want to lose their
culture
, there is an example it has been
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
some countries. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
globalization
is
natural
Add an article
a natural
show examples
process, and it must
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
occur
to whole countries to be a modern country but it is not a
threat
to cultural identity if the
people
keep their
culture
.
Submitted by talubis on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure to present a clear introduction that introduces the topic and clearly states your opinion, followed by body paragraphs that each have a main idea and relevant examples to support that idea. Include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
Logical Structure
Improve coherence by organizing your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea. Use transition words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Complete Response & Specific Examples
Enhance your task achievement by fully addressing the prompt and providing clear and comprehensive ideas. Offer specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument and make sure each point contributes directly to your overall opinion on the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural identity
  • Cultural exchange
  • Evolution
  • Homogenization
  • Cultural preservation
  • Cultural diversity
  • Multiculturalism
  • Hybridization
  • Cultural imperialism
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Heritage
  • Dilution
  • Cultural artifacts
  • Traditions
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