IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

35.Due to the effects of globalization, the cultures of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a natural process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. What is your opinion about this? Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

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the
Correct article usage
apply
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cultures are influenced by others because of the effect of
globalization
Use synonyms
 , but it is not a
threat
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 if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 keep their
culture
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, and believe
globalization
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 is only usually process.
Globalization
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 can not be denied because modern
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 must face
this
Linking Words
 phase,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 nowadays
globalization
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 runs fast. How big a wave of
globalization
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 comes to a country, it can not
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
 some effects if the
people
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 keep their
culture
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nevertheless
Linking Words
 the
people
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 surely understand
the
Correct article usage
a
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culture
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 of
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own is better than another,
that's
Correct word choice
and that's
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 why it is not a
threat
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. A
threat
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 to cultural
indentity
Correct your spelling
identity
 is about the changing of the
culture
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,
people
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 can not understand
about
Change preposition
apply
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their
culture
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, feel
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shame
Correct your spelling
ashamed
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 to understand the
culture
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 even do not recognize their
culture
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 at all.
This
Linking Words
 afraidness can be accepted, because some
people
Use synonyms
 do not want to lose their
culture
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, there is an example it has been
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some countries. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
globalization
Use synonyms
 is
natural
Add an article
a natural
show examples
 process, and it must
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
occur
 to whole countries to be a modern country but it is not a
threat
Use synonyms
 to cultural identity if the
people
Use synonyms
 keep their
culture
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure to present a clear introduction that introduces the topic and clearly states your opinion, followed by body paragraphs that each have a main idea and relevant examples to support that idea. Include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
Logical Structure
Improve coherence by organizing your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea. Use transition words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Complete Response & Specific Examples
Enhance your task achievement by fully addressing the prompt and providing clear and comprehensive ideas. Offer specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument and make sure each point contributes directly to your overall opinion on the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural identity
  • Cultural exchange
  • Evolution
  • Homogenization
  • Cultural preservation
  • Cultural diversity
  • Multiculturalism
  • Hybridization
  • Cultural imperialism
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Heritage
  • Dilution
  • Cultural artifacts
  • Traditions
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