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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people prefer to rent accommodations while others buy their own home. Does renting a house or apartment have more advantages than buying one?

#people #rent #accommodations #home #house #apartment
Buying
apartment
Correct article usage
an apartment
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 than renting a house, because we can have it permanently without some
disturbings
Correct your spelling
disturbance
 when we stay in it. People think buying
apartment
Correct article usage
an apartment
show examples
 will
spend much
Verb problem
cost
show examples
 money,
therefore
 there is no money
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 not be saved. Factly renting an
apartement
Correct your spelling
apartment
 is
bad
Change the article
a bad
show examples
 idea
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people who do not have a plan to own
a properties
Correct the article-noun agreement
properties
a property
show examples
. Owning an
apartement
Correct your spelling
apartment
 means having properties that in the future we can use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
another interest
Fix the agreement mistake
other interests
show examples
 if we need
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by talubis on

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structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should fulfill its purpose, with the introduction setting the stage for the discussion, the body presenting well-developed arguments, and the conclusion summarizing the points made.
coherence
Work on organizing ideas logically and coherently. Ideas should flow naturally from one to the next with the use of linking words and clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs.
development
Develop main points with specific details and examples. This not only demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic but also helps to make your essay more persuasive to the reader.
task response
Focus on fully addressing the task by discussing both sides (advantages of renting vs. buying) unless the question specifically asks you to take one side. Then, provide a clear opinion if required.
language
Use a variety of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic range and proficiency. Avoid overly simplistic expressions that do not show an advanced level of English.
grammar
Check for grammatical accuracy throughout the essay. Even minor errors can impact the clarity of your arguments and the professionalism of the writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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