Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
A great number of meal and beverage products include a great level of
sugar
and it leads plenty
of medical issues. Despite Change preposition
to plenty
this
fact, I am inclined to believe that making
Verb problem
apply
a
Correct article usage
an
raisement
in Correct your spelling
increase
sugar
's cost would conflicts
with humans' Wrong verb form
conflict
right
because Fix the agreement mistake
rights
of
they have to pay more than its worth and it is redundant.
First of all, there are other things that Change preposition
apply
more
harmful than Add a missing verb
are more
sugar
, such
as alcohol or cigarette
. Compared to medical issues Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
those
related to Correct pronoun usage
apply
cigarette
, Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
sugar's
is negligible. If they feel like there should be a price regulation Change noun form
sugar
according to
the level of harmness
, Correct your spelling
firmness
hardness
harmless
sugar
probably would be at last
. Moreover
, from my point of view, a regulation like that is
not appropriate. People
have Correct article usage
the rights
rights
to buy things more Fix the agreement mistake
right
cheap
. There are Change the word
cheaply
people
who barely affort
their Correct your spelling
afford
effort
foods
and it would be unfair Fix the agreement mistake
food
for
them. Humans should put a limitation Change preposition
to
for
themselves and it should be up to their own conscience. If governments want to stop overusing, they may start projects so as to Change preposition
on
make
awareness and Verb problem
raise
thus
, people
would realise. For example
, If I would be
Wrong verb form
were
a
president, I would not increase alcohol prices, I would start Correct article usage
apply
compaignes
for Correct your spelling
campaigns
campaign
people
who are addicted.
On the other hand
, sugar
may cause medical issues but it is related to its amount. Human
body Add an article
The human
also
needs it per day in order to make ATP (an energy unit). Without it, our brain
would not work or we would be unconscious. Every Fix the agreement mistake
brains
reaciton
, muscle movement, brain activity or even breathing are associated with ATPs. What I mean is it has both pros and cons. It depends on human beings to consume enough Correct your spelling
reaction
for running
their body system. Change preposition
to run
For instance
, lack of vitamin D causes bone diseases but overusing it may also
cause liver diseases. It is all about taking everything not less and also
not much.
To sum up
, sugar
should not be more expensive, it should be or
preference to how much Correct word choice
apply
using
it and it is not only detrimental, it has Replace the word
use
also
benefits.Submitted by fatmanurdonertas on
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task achievement
To improve task response, make sure to address the prompt directly and develop a clear position throughout the essay. You should provide a balanced view if disagreeing, including potential benefits to increasing the cost of sugary products and how it may influence health outcomes.
task achievement
Focus on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas by structuring your arguments logically. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea and supporting details. Avoid general statements and make your points clearer and more specific to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using clear and logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central theme that is developed, rather than introducing new ideas without sufficient explanation.
task achievement
Support your main points with relevant examples and evidence. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be stronger. Make sure that the introduction sets up your argument and that the conclusion summarizes and restates your position on the issue clearly.
