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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the olympics since it began Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the olympics since it began Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given
chart
Use synonyms
 and graph have data relating to participants who entered the Olympics between 1924 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
chart
Use synonyms
 showed that
men
Use synonyms
's
percentages
Use synonyms
 were always higher than
women
Use synonyms
 a lot. In 2012, both male and female participants had the highest
percentages
Use synonyms
 before. The graph showed that the portion of participants rose every year. Looking at the
chart
Use synonyms
, both male and female sections rose up.
Men
Use synonyms
's commission was more popular than
women
Use synonyms
's,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why the
men
Use synonyms
's
chart
Use synonyms
 was clearly higher than
women
Use synonyms
's . In 1984, the female percentage had a big explosion
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
's percentage was higher than in many years before nearly 1000.
Women
Use synonyms
's
percentages
Use synonyms
 were the same as
men
Use synonyms
's
percentages
Use synonyms
 in 1952, and it was the highest of all rates. In the graph, it shows the data that athletics was increasing more and more. In 1924, the Olympic games had 3000 athletes, but
this
Linking Words
 rose each year. But in 1984, it rocketed to nearly 11,000 people joining games and it was the year
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 athletics adhered to most.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, men, percentages, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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