Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Citizens believe that innovation in
technology
made
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
buying products easier than before,
however
, there are
conflict
Wrong verb form
conflicting
show examples
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
about
this
. I agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
modernization
Add an article
the modernization
show examples
of
technology
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how we
shopping
Wrong verb form
shop
show examples
nowadays. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will expand these views and my resolution. The first benefit of
technology
is creating
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
for
people
to move their shops to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shops. There are a lot of apps and websites that help
people
to put their
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
for sale.
For example
, Instagram is one of the best applications for searching
something
Change preposition
for something
show examples
that we want
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and buying that with online payment. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
shopping online is an option that came with
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
an improvement
show examples
of
technology
.
On the other hand
, there are opposite
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
about shops that not being easy with modern
technology
. Inventing and creating will not help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
people
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
shopping.
For instance
, old
people
cannot buy merchants online, Because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge about
technology
, and
this
is
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
show examples
option for them.
Furthermore
, shopping online websites
wants
Verb problem
requires
show examples
too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
details of
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to buy and purchase. In my perspective view,
although
there are a lot of negative
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
about modern
technology
,
this
can lead
people
to profit from shopping online, because they
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
necessary
Replace the word
necessarily
show examples
to
Add a missing verb
have to
show examples
pay extra
charge
Fix the agreement mistake
charges
show examples
.
Such
as fuel, and
this
going to reduce the traffic and will take low
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion,
while
it may correct that modern
technology
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not help all
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
of ages, it still has too many benefits for
people
,
however
,
this
needs a lot of experience and knowledge about
technology
.
Finally
,
people
can shop whenever and wherever they want, without
concerning
Replace the word
concern
show examples
about climate conditions and location.
Submitted by sr.alizadeh9191 on

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introduction
Make sure to have a clear introduction with a thesis statement that directly addresses the question. You have provided a general statement but it can be clearer.
paragraph structure
Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences that state the main idea and ensure all supporting sentences are relevant to the main idea.
coherence
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, but use them accurately. Be wary of overusing them and ensure coherence in your argument flow.
conclusion
Your conclusion should encapsulate the main points discussed in the body paragraphs and clearly restate your opinion. It should mirror the introduction but should not introduce new ideas.
task response
Address the task fully by discussing both views presented in the essay prompt and provide a balanced coverage before stating your opinion.
grammar and sentence structure
Use a mixture of complex and simple sentences to demonstrate linguistic range and accuracy.
grammar accuracy
Review grammar and syntax to minimize errors which can impact the clarity of your arguments.
supporting examples
Include more specific examples to support your points, making your argument stronger and more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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