IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary era, the disappearance of many languages has increased rapidly.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the question of whether
this
Linking Words
 trend leads to concerning issues or makes
people
Use synonyms
’s lives smoother has become a matter of considerable debate. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 change allows individuals to lead simpler daily lives.
Due to
Linking Words
 globalization, there has been a significant rise in the number of tourists and immigrants.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 cannot speak the local
language
Use synonyms
, it may present social barriers and create a lack of security.
This
Linking Words
, in turn, makes it difficult for
people
Use synonyms
 to blend into the community and immerse themselves in the local culture. The uniformity of
language
Use synonyms
 not only encourages individuals to interact with local
people
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 improves global cohesion.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 speak the same
language
Use synonyms
, it shields them from penalties.
For example
Linking Words
, not being familiar with a new
language
Use synonyms
 may lead to using incorrect words, causing misunderstandings and putting individuals at risk of penalties.
Additionally
Linking Words
, those who cannot speak the local
language
Use synonyms
 may face numerous potential problems,
such
Linking Words
 as treatment delays and procedural postponements, both of which influence their daily lives.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the reduction of
language
Use synonyms
 differences undoubtedly addresses these disadvantages effectively.
However
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that the disappearance of languages may cause certain issues; the prime example is the decrease in cultural diversity.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the decline in diversity does not cause instant adverse effects;
in other words
Linking Words
, speaking the same
language
Use synonyms
 immediately provides
people
Use synonyms
 with more benefits and paves the way for a smoother life. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the disappearance of a wide range of languages brings about some adverse impacts, the most important aspect is that it gives
people
Use synonyms
 a chance to create local relationships and avoid many hurdles, all of which are crucial components for a successful recipe for an easier life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task. However, further elaboration on certain points and more specific examples could enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph thoroughly supports your main points.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the topic and your perspective, setting a solid foundation for the essay.
supported main points
You have effectively supported your main points with logical reasoning. This enhances the cohesion of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Linguistic diversity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Endangered languages
  • Homogenization
  • Multilingualism
  • Language preservation
  • Cognitive benefits
  • Global communication
  • Intellectual diversity
  • Ecological knowledge
  • Cultural traditions
  • Communication barriers
  • Preservation efforts
  • Technological solutions
  • Language revival
What to do next:
Look at other essays: