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Band 5.5

School should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #force #children #language
There is an opinion that schools must not oblige adolescents to
study
 foreign
languages
. Personally, I strongly disagree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
, knowledge
other
Change preposition
of other
show examples
languages
 can give an opportunity to get a degree abroad.
Secondly
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
forcing kids to learn a foreign
language
 develops children’s discipline and teaches them to be responsible. In fact, getting
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
 in another country is a dream of many
students
 and one of the most important requirements is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
language
 proficiency.
However
, teenagers and adults begin to seriously think about their international education late. Actually, in today’s
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 it is possible to
study
 abroad only if you have the
confirm
Replace the word
confirmation
show examples
 of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
your
language
 level from international companies
which are
Verb problem
that
show examples
 provide special exams.
Moreover
, it is known that in childhood
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
languages
 are better learned.
For example
, I have been taught English for as long as I remember
myself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Honestly, when I was 7, I did not want to
study
this
language
 but I had
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 amazing teacher who always encouraged me to learn grammar and vocabulary.
Consequently
, I got a good base and decided to pass
international
Add an article
the international
an international
show examples
 exam in order to have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 possibility to
study
 in other countries. Another main argument is if a teacher asks
students
 to attend their
language
 lessons, work in class and do homework, children have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of responsibility for their grades and try to
study
 better. It is
also
 noteworthy, that
students
 with great
language
 skills have a high reputation at school among teachers and peers.
Therefore
, children become disciplined and show
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good academic performance.
For instance
, teachers can encourage their
students
 to participate in different
language
 contests in order to have a chance to enroll the top universities for free.
Thus
,
students
 tend to achieve better results in studying foreign
languages
. An educational system sets subjects of foreign
languages
 as part of
necessary
Add an article
the necessary
show examples
 curriculum.
Language
 skills make it possible to get
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 in other countries. In my opinion,
this
 tendency is essential nowadays.
Moreover
, it gives many benefits like travelling, making new friends, and getting information about countries' cultures.
Finally
, studying foreign
languages
 like getting any new skills helps people become more hard-working, organised, and responsible for their success.
Submitted by julykryuchkova on

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present and clearly stated, but make sure your thesis is more nuanced and directly addresses the extent of your agreement or disagreement.
logical structure
Work on better structuring the logical flow of your paragraphs for enhanced clarity and coherence.
supported main points
Elaborate on your main points with more specific examples and analysis to fully develop your ideas.
complete response
Your response seems to be complete, but ensure that each part of the task is fully addressed for a higher score.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas comprehensively without just stating them; expand on your reasons and their implications to strengthen your argument.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples that directly support your arguments to make them more persuasive and concrete.
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