IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some cities have few control over design and construction on housing and office buildings. People think that they are free to choose the design they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#cities #control #design #construction #office #buildings #people
In recent years, controlling residents’ infrastructures has been a heated debate.
While
 allowing the citizens to exercise greater
control
 over the
construction
 of houses and working spaces has a number of benefits, there are
also
 a few significant drawbacks that have to be considered. From my perspective, I believe that its positive aspects outweigh the negative ones. On the one hand, little
control
 over housing or working places has a couple of advantages. One of those is that individuality and self-expression are promoted.
This
 permission allows owners can freely select their
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
, patterns, materials and so forth.
This
 can result in people’s satisfaction and their sense of comfort.
Furthermore
, being creative on buildings can generate the diversity of the areas.
Due to
 the fact that people’s preferences vary greatly, none of the
construction
 would look alike.
By
Change preposition
Hence
show examples
hence
, urban
aesthetic
Fix the agreement mistake
aesthetics
show examples
 can be enhanced and may become a touristy destination.
Nevertheless
,
this
 permission could be a two-edged sword. Erecting infrastructures with too little
control
 may affect the consistency and coherence of the surrounding landscape. Taking Hoi An as an example, buildings in there have
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
reputation
Correct article usage
a reputation
show examples
 of being
similarly
 constructed. If several owners
did
Verb problem
had
show examples
 not
follow
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 that style, the
unique
Replace the word
uniqueness
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Hoi An
cannot
Wrong verb form
could not
show examples
 have existed.
Moreover
, a huge amount of
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 may be released into the environment
due to
 free
construction
. Environment has been one of the biggest concerns of humans and it is
also
 a duty of people to preserve and develop a sustainable environment. To recapitulate,
whereas
 little
control
 over citizens’
construction
 has a couple of disadvantages, I am subscribed to the idea that the benefits of
this
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
.
Submitted by weezel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central theme which is elaborated upon with supporting details and examples. Make sure all the paragraphs smoothly transition from one to the next using suitable conjunctions and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, strive to make your thesis statement clearer in the introduction and reinforce your viewpoint more strongly in the conclusion.
task achievement
To improve task response, expand upon the examples provided by adding more detail to illustrate your arguments. Ensure your examples are fully relevant to the specific points you are making.
task achievement
Keep your response focused on addressing the question directly. Every point and example should clearly relate to and support your argument concerning whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: