It is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

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Opinions are divided on whether, senior citizens should continue working as long as they can, or retire and enjoy life. Seeing the merits of both sides, I personally agree that older people should focus on enjoying life, and
this
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essay will explain why. On the one hand, proponents argue that financial benefits are a key reason why seniors continue to work despite their advanced age. In today's challenging and volatile economy, multiple income sources have become a vital safety net for families, enabling them to meet their daily needs and achieve financial stability. Elderly
individuals
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who continue to work can at least support themselves without pressuring the other family members for finances.
For instance
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, in a family of five, with two parents, a child, and two retired grandparents, the working parents often shoulder all the expenses for the entire family;
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, if the grandparents
also
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worked, they could financially contribute and alleviate some of
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burden.
On the other hand
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, there are strong arguments against the idea of working seniors.
First,
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many believe that, after contributing to society and providing for their families, old people deserve to rest and enjoy their later years.
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,
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markets in different parts of the world are already competitive, and retaining older workers may hamper younger and qualified
individuals
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from finding employment. From my experience, as an example, I have seen a plethora of graduates every year with great capabilities and hard-working character, struggle to secure a
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due to
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limited openings,
by
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allowing older
individuals
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to retire helps open up
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opportunities for younger
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. In conclusion, considering the financial advantages as a reason elderly people continue working, I believe that allowing them to fully retire promotes the opening of more
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vacancies and enables them to enjoy a well-deserved rest, which ultimately benefits society.

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task achievement
You presented a clear position in your introduction and conclusion which is commendable. However, elaborating on the key ideas with more depth could enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more linking phrases to connect your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant, but providing more detailed or varied examples could strengthen your argument and showcase a wider range of knowledge and experience.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is crucial for the reader's understanding.
coherence and cohesion
The argumentation is well-structured, with clear points made in each paragraph that support your overall position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive decline
  • Mental and emotional well-being
  • Social interaction
  • Financial stability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Self-worth
  • Physical health
  • Skill utilization
  • Experience
  • Flexible working hours
  • Generational gap
  • Elderly individuals
  • Retirement
  • Workplace
  • Economic contribution
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