In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In many nations, teenagers are involved in various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds

It seems that kind may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of paid
employment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Some would argue that it is totally wrong,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others say that it is fine for
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to gain work
experience
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay disagrees
for
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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allowing
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

working
Change the verb form
to work

Working doesn’t seem to work here.

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at
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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young age, despite
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
experience
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they gained, they have
their
Change the word
the

The word their may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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right
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development

It seems that developments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. On
one
Correct article usage
the one

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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hand, working at
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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young age
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases

It seems that the verb increase does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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their life
experience
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. They know how difficult to earn money and understand the real world. It will help them to develop their attitude, work ethic and responsibility at the early stage.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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firstborn
child
Change to a plural noun
children

The singular countable noun child follows the quantifier many of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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in Indonesia takes a
part
Add a hyphen
part-time

It seems that part time is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

job to help their family
financial
Change the word
financially

Financial seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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, it
resulted
Wrong verb form
results

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb resulted. Consider changing it.

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in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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firstborn
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children

It seems that child may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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has
Wrong verb form
having

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb has. Consider changing it.

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better character compared to their siblings when they grow up.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I believe that adolescent should not involved in any kind of
employment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because their mentality is not ready yet to handle working pressure.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
their
Change the word
the

The word their may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
right
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development

It seems that developments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and working at
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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young
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age

It seems that ages may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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could interfere with
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
growth and development process. It
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

also
Add a missing verb
is also

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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prohibited by the regulation of
Correct article usage
the Indonesia
show examples
Indonesia
Correct your spelling
Indonesian

The word Indonesia doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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government related to child protection to prevent
child’s
Change noun form
child

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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exploitation and they
only
Add a missing verb
are only

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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allowed to get
part
Add a hyphen
part-time

It seems that part time is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
not more than 3 hours a day.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, most
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
paid
employment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

schoolboy
Fix the agreement mistake
schoolboys

It seems that schoolboy may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls

It seems that girl may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in Indonesia
working
Wrong verb form
work

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb working. Consider changing it.

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more than 3 hours a day and most of them
did
Wrong verb form
do

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb did. Consider changing it.

show examples
not finish their study with the belief that the
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills

It seems that skill may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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they have
is
Wrong verb form
are

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is. Consider changing it.

show examples
enough for their future life. I believe that teenagers should not allowed for paid work to ensure they have enough
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for their educations and growth process. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

working at
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
young age
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases

It seems that the verb increase does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
the life
experience
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it could interfere with their development and that
why
Add a missing verb
is why

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
young
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people

It seems that person may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
should not involved in any kind of
employment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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task achievement
Ensure all main points are clearly supported with specific examples and evidence, which could be elaborated further for clarity and depth.
task achievement
Expand on the relevant examples, making sure they directly support the arguments. Include statistics, research, or anecdotal evidence for a more persuasive argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay reveals an understanding of the topic, but to enhance clarity and comprehension, introduce each viewpoint systematically and distinctly.
coherence cohesion
Create a clear topic sentence for each paragraph to signpost the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph structure, ensuring that each paragraph flows logically to the next with appropriate use of linking words and phrases.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labour
  • Paid work
  • Human rights
  • Ethical standards
  • Long-term educational prospects
  • Personal development
  • Dangerous working conditions
  • Emotional well-being
  • Systemic exploitation
  • Life skills
  • Time management
  • Financial support
  • Work-life balance
  • Real-world exposure
  • Cultural context
  • Traditional norm
  • Rite of passage
  • Psychological harm
  • Vulnerability
  • Employers
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