Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

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Nowadays, many countries become aware and give more attention to international
sports
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. Some
facilities
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are built to support the
athletes
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for
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in
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joining international competitions.
However
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, there is an ongoing debate about whether it is wise to build
sports
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facilities
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only for
athletes
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rather than for society.
First,
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building
sports
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facilities
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which
is
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are
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exclusive only
for
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to
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athletes
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will boost their
skill
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skills
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. Most
sports
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require a high level of focus
hence
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it is important to keep the distraction away when the
athletes
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start training. With
the
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apply
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consistent training and complete equipment, the athlete could be a pro player,
wins
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win
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the international competition and give benefit to the nation.
On the other hand
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, as we know, most top
athletes
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come from ordinary people,
such
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as Ronaldo, the soccer superstar. They started training when they were a child with a lot of limitations.
For instance
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, there are difficulties in getting trained
due to
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the high cost of renting the stadium with complete equipment. If the government provides some public rather than specialized
sports
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facilities
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, we can minimize that limitation.
Besides
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, people of all ages can get free access to exercise. Slowly, it creates a good habit for the community, and the government will find it easier to get prospective
athletes
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. In short, we can conclude whether building specialized
facilities
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will
give
Verb problem
apply
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benefit or
loss
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lose
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are depend
Wrong verb form
depends
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on the priority of
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
. If the country
need
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needs
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pro
athletes
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,
then
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it will
suitable
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be suitable
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.
Conversely
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, if the nation still
lack
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lacks
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of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
athletes
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,
then
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building some public
facilities
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will be helpful. In my view, I prefer to build public
facilities
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due to
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Indonesia still has a shortage of
athletes
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and there are only a few public
sports
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facilities
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.
Submitted by kucinglab on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic well, but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the writer's intention to discuss both views and their own opinion. Additionally, ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more distinct and that they clearly state the essay's purpose and the writer's stance.
logical structure
To improve coherence, make sure the essay has a clear logical progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices such as transitional phrases to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This will help the flow of the essay and make it easier for the reader to follow the argument.
supported main points
While the main points are supported, try to provide a more thorough explanation and development of each point. Use specific examples to support the arguments where possible, which will make them more convincing and add depth to the essay.
complete response
To enhance task achievement, ensure that the response is fully developed. Answer the question completely by discussing both the positive and negative aspects with equal weight and concluding with a clear, well-supported opinion. Use specific examples to illustrate points and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally clear, but strive for greater clarity and depth in your explanations. Provide a more comprehensive exploration of the issues at hand, ensuring that ideas are fully fleshed out and that examples are directly relevant to the question. To do this, you may need to narrow down the number of premises in the argument and go into more depth on each one.
relevant specific examples
Integrate more specific examples to illustrate the points made. Provide real-world instances, statistics, or studies that can substantiate the arguments about the impact of specialized versus public sports facilities. Doing so will strengthen the task response and help the reader understand the practical implications of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
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