Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, many countries become aware and give more attention to international
sports
. Some facilities
are built to support the athletes
for
joining international competitions. Change preposition
in
However
, there is an ongoing debate about whether it is wise to build sports
facilities
only for athletes
rather than for society.
First,
building sports
facilities
which is
exclusive only Change the verb form
are
for
Change preposition
to
athletes
will boost their skill
. Most Fix the agreement mistake
skills
sports
require a high level of focus hence
it is important to keep the distraction away when the athletes
start training. With the
consistent training and complete equipment, the athlete could be a pro player, Correct article usage
apply
wins
the international competition and give benefit to the nation.
Correct subject-verb agreement
win
On the other hand
, as we know, most top athletes
come from ordinary people, such
as Ronaldo, the soccer superstar. They started training when they were a child with a lot of limitations. For instance
, there are difficulties in getting trained due to
the high cost of renting the stadium with complete equipment. If the government provides some public rather than specialized sports
facilities
, we can minimize that limitation. Besides
, people of all ages can get free access to exercise. Slowly, it creates a good habit for the community, and the government will find it easier to get prospective athletes
.
In short, we can conclude whether building specialized facilities
will give
benefit or Verb problem
apply
loss
Replace the word
lose
are depend
on the priority of Wrong verb form
depends
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
. If the country Correct your spelling
government
need
pro Change the verb form
needs
athletes
, then
it will suitable
. Add a missing verb
be suitable
Conversely
, if the nation still lack
Change the verb form
lacks
of
Remove the preposition
apply
athletes
, then
building some public facilities
will be helpful. In my view, I prefer to build public facilities
due to
Indonesia still has a shortage of athletes
and there are only a few public sports
facilities
.Submitted by kucinglab on
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introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic well, but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the writer's intention to discuss both views and their own opinion. Additionally, ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more distinct and that they clearly state the essay's purpose and the writer's stance.
logical structure
To improve coherence, make sure the essay has a clear logical progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices such as transitional phrases to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This will help the flow of the essay and make it easier for the reader to follow the argument.
supported main points
While the main points are supported, try to provide a more thorough explanation and development of each point. Use specific examples to support the arguments where possible, which will make them more convincing and add depth to the essay.
complete response
To enhance task achievement, ensure that the response is fully developed. Answer the question completely by discussing both the positive and negative aspects with equal weight and concluding with a clear, well-supported opinion. Use specific examples to illustrate points and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally clear, but strive for greater clarity and depth in your explanations. Provide a more comprehensive exploration of the issues at hand, ensuring that ideas are fully fleshed out and that examples are directly relevant to the question. To do this, you may need to narrow down the number of premises in the argument and go into more depth on each one.
relevant specific examples
Integrate more specific examples to illustrate the points made. Provide real-world instances, statistics, or studies that can substantiate the arguments about the impact of specialized versus public sports facilities. Doing so will strengthen the task response and help the reader understand the practical implications of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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