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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decision
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It is true that all parents want to provide the best for their
children
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, but they may approach education in different ways since not every adult member is well aware of the indispensable role of orientation in each child's growth and changeable development milestones. Some
adults
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 believe that allowing
children
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 to make their own food, clothing, and entertainment choices will lead to their becoming selfish
people
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 who only think about themselves and show less empathy for others,
while
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 others believe that
children
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 should make their own decisions. From my perspective, I fiercely agree that
children
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 learn how to solve their own difficulties in order to be independent. In my essay, I will go over both of these points in
further
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 detail. On the one hand, youngsters who have the opportunity to make decisions about their difficulties, from minor ones like food and clothing to major ones like school and marriage, prefer to prioritize their emotions and their own gain. In fact, studies have shown that those who grow up with a sense of entitlement come from over-parenting and overindulging families. In most cases, they may not obey their parents' will and only do what they want;
this
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 may result in making the wrong decision
due to
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 their lack of life experience. In brief, saying no occasionally is a necessary part of teaching compassion to your kids.
On the other hand
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,
children
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 who learn to solve their own problems eventually develop the attributes of independence. When these
people
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 encounter good opportunities in their work or in their lives, they make the decision to seize the opportunity without seeking much assistance from
adults
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. These independent young
people
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 will not waste much time asking for so much permission and advice from their elders. They have a chance to show off their abilities or follow their wishes and dreams. In short, younger
people
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 should solve their own problems to gradually practice becoming mature and responsible
adults
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 in the future. In conclusion, since kids are supposed to experience common physical or emotional challenges as they move through different growth phases, it is my final conviction that one of the good ways to educate
children
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 to become more independent in the future is that
adults
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 should
giving
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give
be giving
show examples
children
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 the right to make their own decisions and guiding them.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Organize ideas logically with clear topic sentences starting each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to create better flow between sentences and paragraphs, which will enhance the cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Fully respond to all parts of the task. Make sure to discuss both views provided in the prompt and present a clear opinion on the issue.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas well and provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help you achieve a higher score in task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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