Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sports celebrities.
In our contemporary
society
, some contend that doctors, nurses and teachers
should have a higher income
compare
to Wrong verb form
compared
entertainment
and sports
celebrities since they make enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
contribution
to Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
society
. I agree with this
view and will discuss the reasons behind
.
On one hand, it is argued that Correct pronoun usage
behind it
entertainment
and sports
celebrities deserve their high income
even though they do not contribute to the
Correct article usage
apply
society
directly like the
healthcare Correct article usage
apply
professionals
and teachers
. Take the sport
celebrity Lionel Messi as an example, he trained days and nights before winning the Change the noun form
sports
World-Cup
with his team. It is undeniable that not everyone can work as hard as him and break Correct your spelling
World Cup
the
records Correct article usage
apply
like
Change preposition
as
what
he did.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
On the other hand
, we are comparing entertainment
or sports
celebrities with those professionals
who are contributing greatly to society
on a daily basis like doctors, nurses and teachers
. Doctor
and Fix the agreement mistake
Doctors
nurse
save countless Fix the agreement mistake
nurses
of
lives throughout their careers, Change preposition
apply
whereas
teacher
play a crucial role in nourishing and shaping our future generations. I, personally, believe that their jobs and roles are more significant in preserving the continuity of humankind, and Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
therefore
they deserve to have a higher income
than what they are earning now. Nowadays, many countries are also
facing the issue of lacking healthcare professionals
and educators. This
is because of their heavy workload and responsibility, yet they are receiving income
that do
not align with their roles.
In conclusion, I believe that medical Change the verb form
does
professionals
and teachers
should be paid more than entertainment
and sports
celebraties
. Correct your spelling
celebrities
This
is simply because their roles carry greater
responsibility to the Add an article
a greater
society
. Government
should increase their pay to redress the issue of lacking medical Correct article usage
The government
professionals
and teachers
.Submitted by michellehoon0924 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has clear and distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and follow logically from the previous one.
Coherence & Cohesion
Link your ideas and paragraphs using cohesive devices and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Avoid repeating points and introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points by providing specific, detailed examples. Your arguments need to be supported by evidence or reasoning that relates directly to the question prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarises the points made in your essay and reflects back on the thesis, providing a clear resolution to the argument.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task: both sides of the argument have been presented, but the opposing view could be more fully developed with specific examples. Also, the prompt discusses 'pay' but does not suggest a direct comparison of income magnitude. Focus on explaining why one group should be paid more rather than making a direct salary comparison.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.