IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think that humans can use animals in any way for their own benefits. others, however, believe that people should not use animals in the wrong way. discuss both this views and give your own opinion

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Introduction
Use
Correct article usage
The use
show examples
 of
animals
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
Correct article usage
a
show examples
very old habit
However
Linking Words
, There are many
people
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who thinks
show examples
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 narmal right for any person
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
plante
Correct your spelling
planet
,
In contrast
Linking Words
 , some
people
Use synonyms
 have
adifferent
Correct your spelling
a different
different
 opinion related to
animals
Use synonyms
 ,In my essay I'm on the
blance
Correct your spelling
balance
 of
useing
Correct your spelling
using
animals
Use synonyms
 for any reason and I will explaine my piont view .
Body paragraph 1
At first ,
people
Use synonyms
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 agree
that is
Linking Words
 used
animals
Use synonyms
 for their own benefits
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 reasons
Body paragraph 2
I think many
people
Use synonyms
 use it in transport like houres ,
camles
Correct your spelling
camels
cables
 and
donkey
Fix the agreement mistake
donkeys
show examples
,
Instance
Change preposition
For Instance
show examples
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 in 1970s the y haven't any transporting materials ,
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, There are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
people
Use synonyms
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 it in
garedens
Correct your spelling
gardens
 when they growing
vagtables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
a good example
here
Add a missing verb
is here
show examples
 is Gows and
also
Linking Words
 it has a lot of benefits like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
hers
Correct the word
her
show examples
 milk meat, and chees.
Body paragraph 3
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, There are
agroup
Correct your spelling
a group
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who say
that is
Linking Words
 across to
another creatures
Replace the adjective
another creature
other creatures
show examples
 and
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 should not
useing
Correct your spelling
using
 it. some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 how
act
Fix the infinitive
to act
show examples
 with the
animals
Use synonyms
 ,
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
harming
Wrong verb form
harm
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
whith out any mercy,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
huntting
Correct your spelling
hunting
 that can kill
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 highest number of
rara
Correct your spelling
rare
animals
Use synonyms
 like dears and uniqe birds.
Body paragraph 4
Additionally
Linking Words
 , that could
damge
Correct your spelling
damage
 the system of
strcuter
Correct your spelling
structure
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life in earth
plante
Correct your spelling
plants
.
Body paragraph 5
In conclusion , for all before . I strongly believe ,
Correct your spelling
because
becase
Correct your spelling
because
humanbenig
Correct your spelling
human being
 is the leader of
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
planet
plante
Correct your spelling
planet
 he should be
Correct your spelling
managed
management
managment
Correct your spelling
managed
 in
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 way and be bance for
Correct your spelling
using
useing
Correct your spelling
using
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
Correct your spelling
with
which
whith
Correct your spelling
without
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
harming
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
a nother
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
Conclusion
creauters
Correct your spelling
creatures
to keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life going in
pacefull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
peacefully
.

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
content
Develop your arguments with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, followed by explanations, examples, and conclusions that relate directly to the topic.
cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, and check that they are used accurately and appropriately.
task response
Address all parts of the task by discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. Make sure your opinion is consistent throughout the essay.
examples
Use specific examples to support your points. The examples should be detailed enough to demonstrate your understanding of the topic and relevant to the argument you are making.
grammar and spelling
Proofread your work to correct grammar and spelling mistakes. Errors can hinder the clarity of your arguments and reduce coherence.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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