IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Due to the development of the internet, public libraries are no longer necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #internet #libraries
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It is argued that the
development
Use synonyms
 of the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 stops the necessity of public
libraries
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 anymore. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
statament
Correct your spelling
statement
, because public
libraries
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 are trusted
facilities
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 for reaching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic source of information and these
facilities
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 will adapt to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological
development
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. Public
libraries
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 are appropriate
facilities
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 to get trusted knowledge, having different academic subscriptions for science journals.
Users
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 of the
libraries
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 can read articles without paying fees to scientific databases, even more, these articles are tailored and controlled for academic
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
. Many doctorate students are doing their
reseaches
Correct your spelling
researches
research
 in public
libraries
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 without using any personal subscription through the digital
infrastructe
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 of public
libraries
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in the UK, many doctorate students can reach trusted databases
such
Linking Words
 as Nature and PubMed, and they can learn advanced information for their
thesisses
Correct your spelling
thesis
. The
development
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 of the internet results in less dependence on physical books, and
therefore
Linking Words
, public
libraries
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 will evolve into a new concept
such
Linking Words
 as computer labs. These amenities will contain
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 physical books, but their computer numbers will increase in the future. Their
users
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 will continue to use these
facilities
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. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, some public
libraries
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 have started to reduce their physical book capacities and allocate their money to buy new computers.
As a result
Linking Words
, some
users
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 have started to use new computers to
use reading
Wrong verb form
read
show examples
 e-books
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and they admit that
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 might be more comfortable
to read
Change preposition
for reading
show examples
 books than physical copies. In conclusion, I believe these
libraries
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 will continue to be important, because public
libraries
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 are excellent amenities to reach academic information for
users
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, and these
facilities
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 will adapt to the
development
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 of the internet
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 evolving a new concept.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Work on developing comprehensive ideas by expanding your explanations and providing more detailed reasoning behind your statements.
task achievement
Include more relevant specific examples to support your main points; this will help you to demonstrate clarity and depth in your response.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a logical flow by using cohesive devices effectively and organizing paragraphs with clear topic sentences that relate back to the thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs with varied and appropriate linking words.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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