It has been suggested that everyone in the world wants to own a car, a TV and a fridge. Do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweigh the advantages?

#world #car #tv #fridge #development

It is irrefutable that more and more

people

are running after materialistic

things

like cars,

television

Fix the agreement mistake

televisions

show examples

and refrigerators.

While

there are a few benefits of

this

materialism, I believe the drawbacks are much more. Admittedly, there are certain advantages of the increasing

demand

Change preposition

for

show examples

consumer goods. The main advantage is that the increasing

demand

means increasing production and employment.

Thus

, the increasing

demand

directly boosts the economy. Another advantage is that the quality of life of

people

is getting better. The luxuries of yesterday like cars, refrigerators and air conditioners have become the necessities of today. There is no doubt that

people

are living a more comfortable life than ever before.

However

this

trend has several drawbacks.

Firstly

, the rising

demand

and use of

such

products

Change the verb form

are

show examples

leading to environmental degradation. In fact, today a major source of air pollution in the cities is the exhaust fumes from cars.

Similarly

, more consumer goods means more use of natural resources and more waste. Waste is

also

increasing as companies are using

lower quality

Add a hyphen

lower-quality

show examples

materials like plastic to maintain profit margins.

Secondly

, materialism

also

has a negative effect on relationships as it forces

people

to work harder and spend less time with loved ones. In the long run, the love for materialistic

things

can never compete with

satisfaction

Correct article usage

the satisfaction

show examples

people

achieve from relationships.

Thus

, most

people

despite being richer and having more luxuries are less

happier

Correct word choice

happy

show examples

than before.

Finally

, materialism is leading to crime as more and more

people

are resorting to unethical means like stealing to get

such

things

People

today value owning

such

things

much more

over

Change preposition

than

show examples

integrity and honesty.

Thus

, society’s value systems are being corrupted by

this

trend.

To sum up

, there is no doubt that the increasing

demand

for materialistic

things

has some advantages, but the drawbacks certainly outweigh them.

Submitted by aamenis on Fri Jan 26 2024

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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It has been suggested that everyone in the world wants to own a car, a TV and a fridge. Do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweigh the advantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that having a fixed punishment for all crimes is more efficient. What are advantages and disadvantages of having a fixed punishment?

Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people have little to gain from the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.