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Writing Samples
Band 4

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two site maps demonstrate the Norbiton town's current industry
area
Use synonyms
 and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 future development. The industrial
area
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 is located at the east of the town, between the
river
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 and a
highway
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. In
this
Linking Words
area
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, there is a roundabout with two exits,
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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one connecting to the
highway
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 and the other leading to the central
area
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 of the industrial park. In total 7 factories are built along the street, where 3 of them are located next to the roundabout.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
river
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 is located in the north of the industrial
area
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, and it is
parraelle
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parallel
 to the
highway
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. There is
a
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apply
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farmland across
to
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apply
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the
river
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. As per the future
developement
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development
 plan,
this
Linking Words
area
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 will be redesigned
to
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into
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 a living community with a lot of housing
area
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,
accompanying
Wrong verb form
accompanied
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with
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by
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neccessary
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necessary
 facilities
such
Linking Words
 as
school
Correct article usage
a school
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, playground, medical centre and shops. Particularly,
school
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the school
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 will be located
at the end
Linking Words
 of the street.
Moreover
Linking Words
, more
infrustructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 will be built,
such
Linking Words
 as a bridge for people to cross the
river
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 and a roundabout on the
highway
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 for entering
to
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apply
show examples
the
area
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
area
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 is being planned as a living
area
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 rather than an industrial place.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, river, highway with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned future development
  • factories
  • warehouses
  • railway line
  • shopping center
  • residential buildings
  • college
  • mixed-use zone
  • commercial
  • residential
  • educational
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian walkways
  • housing
  • community
  • retail services
  • revitalize
  • quality of life
  • vibrant
  • sustainable
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