Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children's story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extent do you agree?

Some people argue that
children
who spend most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
reading
children
's story books are wasting their
time
which could be better used doing other useful activities.
This
essay disagrees with
this
statement
due to
a variety of reasons. One of the main reasons behind my disagreement is the number of benefits that can be reaped by reading
children
's fiction. The habit of reading fictional magazines will spark creativity in
minds
Correct article usage
the minds
show examples
of youngsters which can help them in the later stages of life.
Nevertheless
,
book
reading not only improves the focus and concentration of kids but
also
ignites the imagination of adolescents.
Moreover
,
book
reading
also
held in the development of good qualities like patience and punctuality in the young generation. Unfortunately, modern people are more focused towards technology and digital communication than artistic activities. Because parents are more interested in giving digital and technical knowledge to their
children
,youngsters have less patience and less focus than the older generation.
For example
, the modern generation wants to achieve success in a short
time
duration without working hard for the results. The habits of
book
reading can help people in solving these issues. Undoubtedly, stories and fiction are a big part of learning in
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
stage of toddlers.
For instance
, storytelling boosts the learning ability of a child. In
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
years,babies start learning about different things through engaging in artistic activities and fictional stories help them to
further
enhance their creativity in later stages. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the statement that kids are wasting their
time
reading story books. In my opinion, there is no better hobby than
book
reading for a child that will not only boost their intelligence but
also
improve focus ability.
Submitted by sb101tahirgul on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, work on making your thesis statement in the introduction clearer to immediately establish your position and preview the main points. In the conclusion, restate your thesis and main points more succinctly to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points by using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. Employing words/phrases such as 'furthermore', 'on the other hand', or 'as a result' can help enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
To fully address the task, make sure to directly answer the question posed, discussing both why some may consider reading a waste of time and why you believe it is not. Balance the argument to provide a well-rounded response.
task achievement
Continue to develop clear and comprehensive ideas but aim to expand and deepen your analysis. Each paragraph should explore the main point in detail, possibly with more complex structures and a varied vocabulary.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Personal anecdotes, references to studies, or hypothetical situations can make your essay more convincing and concrete.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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