Some people think that government should not give international aid if they have disadvantaged people like unemployed and homeless in their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that
the
governments should not give Correct article usage
apply
aid
to poor Use synonyms
countries
if there are underprivileged people within their own Use synonyms
country
. I believe that the developing and developed Use synonyms
countries
should always step forward to help the impoverished Use synonyms
countries
.
The main reason why Use synonyms
countries
should give Use synonyms
aid
is that international Use synonyms
aid
not only helps the recipient Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the donor Linking Words
country
. Use synonyms
In other words
, as poor Linking Words
countries
develop through Use synonyms
aid
, it fosters international trade. Use synonyms
This
creates Linking Words
higher
demand for products made in Add an article
a higher
the
rich Correct article usage
apply
countries
, which improves the economy of rich Use synonyms
countries
by creating jobs. So, homelessness and unemployment Use synonyms
of
donor Change preposition
in
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
is
Change the verb form
are
also
addressed.
Linking Words
Secondly
, international Linking Words
aid
is not only given to reduce povertyUse synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
to improve the Linking Words
country
’s own security. By giving Use synonyms
aid
, the economic condition of the poor Use synonyms
countries
improves and so the conditions that promote terrorism, Use synonyms
such
as poverty, unemployment and corruption are removed. So, Linking Words
this
Linking Words
aid
promotes peace and stability in the whole world.
Use synonyms
Finally
, giving Linking Words
aid
adds to the power and influence of the rich Use synonyms
countries
. Today, the status in the world is not based on military strength, but on relationships with other Use synonyms
countries
. Use synonyms
This
Linking Words
aid
is accompanied by Use synonyms
development
of people-to-people contacts between the two Add an article
the development
countries
and raises the image of that Use synonyms
country
in the eyes of the people of the recipient Use synonyms
country
. Use synonyms
For example
, recently, the United Nations HR Linking Words
commission’s
chairman had to be elected, and an Indian was elected because of the soft power that India has.
Capitalize word
Commission’s
To sum up
, I reiterate my opinion saying that all Linking Words
countries
should help by giving foreign Use synonyms
aid
even if there are problems of unemployment and homelessness within them.Use synonyms
Submitted by aamenis on
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introduction conclusion present
To enhance your essay, make sure to introduce your topic with a clear thesis statement that outlines the scope of the discussion and directly addresses the prompt. While your conclusion summarizes the essay well, try to tie it back more explicitly to the prompt's question regarding the extent of your agreement or disagreement.
logical structure
Your essay has good logical structure overall, but it can benefit from clearer transitions and more varied linking phrases between ideas and paragraphs. Try to include cohesive devices that better signal the relationship between points, such as comparison, contrast, cause, or effect.
supported main points
You have provided a few examples to support your main points. To improve, insert more specific real-world examples that demonstrate your argument. This will ground your points in reality and make your argument more persuasive. For instance, mentioning specific instances of foreign aid that resulted in trade benefits would strengthen your second paragraph.
complete response
Overall, your response to the task is complete and your ideas are clear and comprehensively explained. Remember, however, to address the counter-arguments to create a more balanced discussion. Reflecting on the complexities of the issue will show a deeper understanding and might earn you a higher score in task achievement.