Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

Urban areas have always been places where
people
love to find their fortune which makes
people
move to town.
This
phenomenon led to numerous problems because of the overpopulation of the city.
This
essay will discuss the effects and solutions from both government and individuals. Without a doubt, dense populations mean that
job
chances are lower
due to
many
people
finding the same typical
job
. Companies have a limited amount of workers that they can hire and finding a replacement will be easy because of the huge number of workforces there.
In addition
,
People
could be prone to jobless and homeless because of that.
Next,
packed residents lowered private space between each person,
consequently
making it hard to have a personal life battling their emotions without hurting other
people
.
This
might be because they have to share their cubical work, house,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
bedrooms. Apart from that, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
ways to tackle
this
problem,
such
as building more public spaces by governments will provide it’s citizen to collect their thoughts alone. Public spaces
also
can promote social activities to introduce
people
various
Change preposition
to various
show examples
activities to have other perspectives that help organize the participant's feelings.
Additionally
, every
job
seeker should increase their ability to have more qualities to get hired by pursuing higher education or taking courses.
This
could increase the chance and might be opening a new
job
for other
people
. In conclusion,
although
, overpopulation lowers the chance of being hired and limits private space,
people
should increase their qualifications and governments could build new parks and public spaces to deal with those problems.
Submitted by claudideborah on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, your response is on the right path, but you must ensure that all parts of the task are fully covered. This includes a more comprehensive explanation of the issues mentioned and a more detailed discussion on how these can be addressed. Expand on your ideas fully and avoid making statements that are not further explained or supported.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • strain on infrastructure
  • public services
  • overcrowded
  • inadequate healthcare services
  • pressure on educational institutions
  • environmental impact
  • increased pollution
  • waste management
  • destruction of green spaces
  • natural habitats
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