Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

#overpopulation #areas #two #ones #governments #individuals

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Urban areas have always been places where

people

love to find their fortune which makes

people

move to town.

This

phenomenon led to numerous problems because of the overpopulation of the city.

This

essay will discuss the effects and solutions from both government and individuals. Without a doubt, dense populations mean that

job

chances are lower

due to

many

people

finding the same typical

job

. Companies have a limited amount of workers that they can hire and finding a replacement will be easy because of the huge number of workforces there.

In addition

People

could be prone to jobless and homeless because of that.

Next,

packed residents lowered private space between each person,

consequently

making it hard to have a personal life battling their emotions without hurting other

people

This

might be because they have to share their cubical work, house,

even

Correct word choice

and even

show examples

bedrooms. Apart from that, there are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

ways to tackle

this

problem,

such

as building more public spaces by governments will provide it’s citizen to collect their thoughts alone. Public spaces

also

can promote social activities to introduce

people

various

Change preposition

to various

show examples

activities to have other perspectives that help organize the participant's feelings.

Additionally

, every

job

seeker should increase their ability to have more qualities to get hired by pursuing higher education or taking courses.

This

could increase the chance and might be opening a new

job

for other

people

. In conclusion,

although

, overpopulation lowers the chance of being hired and limits private space,

people

should increase their qualifications and governments could build new parks and public spaces to deal with those problems.

Submitted by claudideborah on Fri Jan 26 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve your score, consider providing clearer examples to support your main points, as these will greatly assist in demonstrating the ideas presented. Aim to include specific instances, research, or case studies to enhance the depth of your arguments. As for logical structure, ensure that your paragraphs and sentences flow in a logical order, connecting ideas clearly with appropriate connectors and transition phrases.

Task Achievement

In terms of task achievement, your response is on the right path, but you must ensure that all parts of the task are fully covered. This includes a more comprehensive explanation of the issues mentioned and a more detailed discussion on how these can be addressed. Expand on your ideas fully and avoid making statements that are not further explained or supported.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

strain on infrastructure
public services
overcrowded
inadequate healthcare services
pressure on educational institutions
environmental impact
increased pollution
waste management
destruction of green spaces
natural habitats

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Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others.

Some countries have implemented mandatory community service programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this for young people?

Nowadays computer education is compulsory for learners in most schools. Do you think it is necessary or will children acquire these skills naturally from their day interaction with technology everywhere? Discuss both and give your opinion.