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With The Increasing Use And Development Of New Technology, Many Machine Are New Able To Do The Work Which People Used To Perform. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#development #technology #machine #work #people #trend
Whether
replace
Fix the infinitive
to replace
show examples
humans
 with
machines
 in the manufacturing
processes
 is a recurring argument.
This
 writer argues that the benefits of high productivity and the quality of
products
 outweigh the drawbacks of the loss of occupation seen in
people
. The most advantageous factor for using
machines
instead
 of workers is that it allows to
produce
Replace the word
production
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
large number of
products
 in a short time.
In other words
,
machines
 tend to have a
dafault
Correct your spelling
default
 working process for a certain time and they
also
 have to fulfil the producing aim which was brought out by the employers.
As a result
, industries use robotic
machines
 to ensure that in the given time, they will have enough
products
 to sell to customers without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
procrastination.
Furthermore
,
machines
 will
also
 help them to follow the plan which has already been set up and achieve high productivity in working
processes
. Another point that should
also
 be considered is the output quality. It must be recognised that the
products
 which were made by
humans
 often have some errors in the working
processes
.
Moreover
, sometimes
people
 will make a big mistake that will affect the quality
as well as
 the experience of the customers.
As a result
, utilizing
machines
 in the production lines will deter the rate of errors which were caused by
humans
 and ensure the
products
 will be sold to purchasers without mistakes.
However
, some
people
 think that replacing
people
 with technological devices will make
people
 lose their jobs.
Due to
 the fact that most enterprises and industries want to reduce the cost of the working
processes
 which include both
humans
 and
machines
 ,they have to fire
people
 to lessen the amount of money spent on them
such
 as salaries or insurance. It may be true but
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
effectively separating work will go a long way in protecting employees from being unemployed. Taking all points into account, the loss in employees’ occupation is outweighed by the benefits of the high productivity and the
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
 output of
products
.
Hence
, it is more beneficial to utilise
machines
 to do the work which
humans
 used to do.
Submitted by goodnight on

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coherence cohesion
Try to maintain coherence by connecting ideas more fluidly and using a wider range of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are well-defined and clearly state your position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and clearer development of ideas.
task achievement
Address the task by covering all parts of the prompt and providing a clear, comprehensive response to the question.
task achievement
Implement a more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate ideas more comprehensively.
task achievement
Use concrete and relevant examples to illustrate your points and enhance the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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