With The Increasing Use And Development Of New Technology, Many Machine Are New Able To Do The Work Which People Used To Perform. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#development #technology #machine #work #people #trend

Whether

replace

Fix the infinitive

to replace

show examples

humans

with

machines

in the manufacturing

processes

is a recurring argument.

This

writer argues that the benefits of high productivity and the quality of

products

outweigh the drawbacks of the loss of occupation seen in

people

. The most advantageous factor for using

machines

instead

of workers is that it allows to

produce

Replace the word

production

show examples

Change preposition

of a

show examples

large number of

products

in a short time.

In other words

machines

tend to have a

dafault

Correct your spelling

default

working process for a certain time and they

also

have to fulfil the producing aim which was brought out by the employers.

As a result

, industries use robotic

machines

to ensure that in the given time, they will have enough

products

to sell to customers without

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

procrastination.

Furthermore

machines

will

also

help them to follow the plan which has already been set up and achieve high productivity in working

processes

. Another point that should

also

be considered is the output quality. It must be recognised that the

products

which were made by

humans

often have some errors in the working

processes

Moreover

, sometimes

people

will make a big mistake that will affect the quality

as well as

the experience of the customers.

As a result

, utilizing

machines

in the production lines will deter the rate of errors which were caused by

humans

and ensure the

products

will be sold to purchasers without mistakes.

However

, some

people

think that replacing

people

with technological devices will make

people

lose their jobs.

Due to

the fact that most enterprises and industries want to reduce the cost of the working

processes

which include both

humans

and

machines

,they have to fire

people

to lessen the amount of money spent on them

such

as salaries or insurance. It may be true but

Change preposition

apply

show examples

effectively separating work will go a long way in protecting employees from being unemployed. Taking all points into account, the loss in employees’ occupation is outweighed by the benefits of the high productivity and the

well

Change the adverb

good

show examples

output of

products

Hence

, it is more beneficial to utilise

machines

to do the work which

humans

used to do.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Fri Jan 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to maintain coherence by connecting ideas more fluidly and using a wider range of cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are well-defined and clearly state your position on the issue.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples and clearer development of ideas.

task achievement

Address the task by covering all parts of the prompt and providing a clear, comprehensive response to the question.

task achievement

Implement a more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate ideas more comprehensively.

task achievement

Use concrete and relevant examples to illustrate your points and enhance the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

347 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With The Increasing Use And Development Of New Technology, Many Machine Are New Able To Do The Work Which People Used To Perform. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

n the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages.

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and liveable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?