Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that governing bodies should put more effort
in
reducing pollution in the environment and difficulty in Change preposition
into
accomodation
to ensure their citizens' Correct your spelling
accommodation
overall
welfare. I would completely agree with this
argument because these two issues are the major contributors to the medical problems
people
are suffering these days.
There is no doubt that environmental pollution plays a crucial role in causing health
issues. Since industrialization emits countless toxic gases into the atmosphere, people
living in polluted environments, where fresh air is not available, suffer respiratory problems
, such
as choking and coughing. Although
these problems
seem to be trivial, they may eventually lead to devastating diseases, such
as lung cancer, due to
the continuous exposure to toxic wastes in the atmosphere. For example
, it is reported that residents in urban areas of industrial countries including India and China are three times more likely to suffer from lung problems
than people
in other countries. Therefore
, by focusing on promoting environmental conditions, authorities can enhance their citizens' health
, preventing possible pollution threats.
Another leading cause is the scarcity of proper accommodation. Many people
in both developed and developing countries are forced to live on the street due to
high monthly rent and mortgage. These homeless people
are especially vulnerable to contagious diseases as they are not provided with basic sanitation facilities. As a result
, they might pass these diseases to other people
in the street, contributing to a sudden break-out of a pandemic. However
, if governments can take steps to help these people
, they can prevent this
kind of disaster from happening, saving their people
from potential health
problems
and ensuring them a roof on
their heads.
In conclusion, many Change preposition
over
people
argue that authoritative bodies should direct their efforts to promote environmental health
and provide people
with appropriate accommodations to prevent poor health
conditions. I would definitely agree with his ideas as concentrating on mitigating the two major threats to human health
would mitigate possible health
problems
.Submitted by jennifer.aung122 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
While your essay was comprehensive, ensure that it fully addresses the components of the task prompt; include perspectives or arguments against the main point if the prompt asks for your stance in agreement or disagreement.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
Task Achievement
The essay provides relevant examples which help support the argument made.
Coherence & Cohesion
The main ideas are clear and logically developed across paragraphs.