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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some old people today's struggle with the use of modern technology such as smartphone and computers. what is the cause of this? what are the some possible solutions?

#people #struggle #technology #smartphone #computers
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It is true that older people nowadays find some difficulties in using modern gadgets
such
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 as smartphones and computers.
Although
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 we are living now in
different
Add an article
a different
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 era where using technology has become dominant, senior citizens still struggle with
this
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 aspect. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on the root causes and possible solutions.
To begin
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 with, one of the main reasons why pensioners may complain about using
moderns
Change the noun form
modern
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 devices is the lack of proper education that
allow
Change the verb form
allows
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 them to be able to deal with
such
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 gadgets.
For example
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, a wide range of senior citizens in developing countries are illiterate, and
as a result
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of
Change preposition
apply
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Correct pronoun usage
apply
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this
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, they are not capable
to
Change preposition
of using
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use
Use synonyms
 these devices because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 some basic educational background.
Additionally
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, they mentioned that they tend to
use
Use synonyms
 old phones easily because they only need to make and receive calls, add to
this
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, they are not familiar with other options that modern gadgets have.
On the other hand
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, it is of paramount importance to consider some reasonable solutions to address
this
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 problem.
Firstlly
Correct your spelling
First
, sons and daughters have a significant role to play as they could
tech
Correct your spelling
teach
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 their parents how to
use
Use synonyms
 these smartphones.
For instance
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, In Egypt, some pensioners are holding modern phones and they are able to deal with these as they have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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learned the easiest ways from their sons.
Secondly
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, older must have passion and desire to accomplish
this
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 to catch up with the era they live in.
Finally
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, each local community could lead campaigns to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
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 that old people have proper
knowlege
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knowledge
 to deal with
such
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 devices. In conclusion,
although
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 it seems to be challenging to convince and
learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
 senior citizens how to
use
Use synonyms
 smartphones and computers, it will be easy if we take into consideration the root causes and possible solutions.
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are organized in a logical manner, with clear linking sentences between paragraphs for enhanced coherence.
coherence cohesion
Keep your introduction and conclusion clear. In the introduction, state the problem and your intention to discuss causes and solutions. Conclude with a summary of your discussion and the implications for the future.
task achievement
Develop each main point with specific examples and detailed explanations. Instead of mentioning generalities, choose a particular situation and illustrate it in depth.
task achievement
Make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While it is clear that the essay identifies causes and solutions, delving deeper into the implications and potential outcomes enhances the robustness of your answer.
task achievement
To increase clarity, focus on constructing comprehensive ideas that hold together. Every paragraph should present a singular idea that progresses the argument or analysis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital divide
  • cognitive function
  • technological advancement
  • user-friendly
  • senior learners
  • formative years
  • navigation
  • evolution
  • educational resources
  • tailored programs
  • intergenerational
  • accessibility features
  • overwhelming
  • interface
  • usability
  • obstacles
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