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Band 2.5

Nowadays many young people deliberately damage public places. What are the causes and solutions?

#people #damage #places
The deliberate damage of
places
 of public usage by
youth
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 people is
concerning
Correct article usage
a concerning
show examples
 issue for contemporary society.
This
 problem is associated with a lack of free access to recreational
areas
.
as well as
lack
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a lack
show examples
 of
adequate
Add an article
an adequate
show examples
 educational system to encourage them to have constructive
behaviour
 against
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
usage's
Change noun form
usage
show examples
places
.These destructive
behaviour
 can be addressed by building free easy -to -access
places
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people,and
also
 by holding educational workshops to improve their awareness about the necessity of preserving public facilities.
This
 is
common
Add an article
a common
show examples
 need for young individuals to engage in constructive recreational
actions
Replace the word
activities
show examples
 and to be able to spend their free time and their excessive energy in kind of
places
such
 as parks,gyms,and so on,that should
establish
Wrong verb form
be established
show examples
 by local
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
.In the absence of these recreational
areas
,their unawareness
Correct word choice
and distructive
show examples
distructive
Correct your spelling
destructive
behaviour
 will increase.
On the other hand
,conducting educational workshops can have a lot of practicalities to improve the sense of their
reponsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
For example
 by involving them to renovate some old publics or
damage
Replace the word
damaged
show examples
areas
.
To sum up
, the youth individuals
delibrately
Correct your spelling
deliberately
 damage public
usage's
Change noun form
usage
show examples
areas
 .
This
 destructive
behaviour
 can be
due to
 a lack of entertaining activities and inadequate
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
.So local
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 have
Change the article
the
show examples
main role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
tackel
Correct your spelling
tackling
this
 problem and
to reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 actions.
Therefore
, they should take some measures to solve
this
.
Submitted by sinamousavi078 on

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structure
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points that the essay will discuss. Make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main arguments without introducing new information.
coherence
Work on the logical flow of the essay by using a variety of transition words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs.
development
Develop main points with more detailed explanations and provide concrete examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen the essay's persuasiveness and clarity.
task response
Address all parts of the task by not only identifying the causes of the problem and offering solutions but also elaborating on them equally for a more balanced response.
clarity
Be more explicit in providing clear and comprehensive ideas by avoiding vague statements. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea supported by relevant explanations or examples.
examples
Incorporate specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic to illustrate your points. This could include citing statistics, referring to specific incidents, or including personal anecdotes if appropriate.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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