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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.

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It is undeniable that a lot of individuals are not considerate with what they consume which leads them to several health problems.
This
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 essay will investigate the causes that might support
this
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 motion
as well as
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 give advice with related illustrations. There are various reasons why many
people
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 tend to eat an unbalanced diet.
To begin
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 with, it is too normalized in society that
food
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 companies or restaurants serve highly processed dishes. In fact, processed dishes tend to not have suitable ingredients which align with health guidelines.
For instance
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, fast
food
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that is
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 commonly consumed by
people
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 because it is easy to get is well-known for its high amount of sodium and oil. The high supply and demand of unhealthy
food
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 in society facilitates citizens and pushes them to have unhealthy dietary habits. More than that, many individuals find that balanced
food
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 costs
higher
Add a missing verb
are higher
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 because there are several elements that need to be fulfilled. To illustrate, to have balanced nutrients means that humans need to have at least protein,
carbo
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carbs
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, and
fiber
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fibre
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 in their daily consumption which makes them spend more on their
meals
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. With several daily essentials that need to be taken care of,
people
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 tend to choose affordable
meals
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 that are most suitable for them even if they are malnourished. There are actually some ways to address
this
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 issue.
First,
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restaurants can provide transparency on their menu. Display calorie numbers and
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 more options
on
Change preposition
for
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 whole
food
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 should be considered to boost the health profile of
meals
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. To exemplify, restaurants can start serving natural or minimally processed
meals
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 so that the
nutrient
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients
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remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
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 there, allowing consumers to meet their daily intake without overeating.
Additionally
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, governments can take part to rectify
this
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 problem. They can give subsidies on fresh products which make healthy
food
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 accessible for every community. In
this
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 case, governments can build partnerships with local farmers so that
people
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 not only can buy produce at cheaper rates but
also
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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contribute to farmers' economy. In summary, the reasons behind poor eating practices include the normalization of processed dishes and the exclusivity of real
food
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. These problems can be resolved by offering more natural alternatives and making accessible healthier choices.

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that ideas flow more naturally from one to the other. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve connectivity between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific point. Start with an introductory sentence for each paragraph to signal the main idea to the reader.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clear, but can be strengthened by more precisely stating the thesis and summarizing the main points at the end.
task achievement
For task achievement, expand on the main ideas with further development and detail. Give deeper analysis and more examples to fully address the reasons and solutions proposed.
task achievement
To provide a complete response, ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed equally. Balance the discussion between causes and solutions.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your points. The examples should clearly demonstrate the issue discussed and how the proposed solutions can be effective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced diet
  • poor eating habits
  • unhealthy food
  • fast food
  • convenience
  • advertising
  • nutrition
  • financial constraints
  • emotional eating
  • peer pressure
  • hectic work schedules
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • junk food
  • processed food
  • nutrient-rich
  • obesity
  • health consequences
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