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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the diagram below show the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the diagram below show the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #floor #plan #library #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps illustrate the development plan of
central
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the central
a central
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library
Use synonyms
 from 20 years ago and
today
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
library
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the library
show examples
today
Use synonyms
 has many
changed
Replace the word
changes
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 compared to how the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
library
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the library
show examples
 looks in 20 years ago.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
today
Use synonyms
 is more well-structured than in the past.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the left side of the maps,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20 years ago, there were CDs, videos, and computer games
room
Use synonyms
,
reading
Correct article usage
a reading
show examples
room
Use synonyms
, and space for
collection
Add an article
a collection
the collection
show examples
 of adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
situated between those rooms. Now,
CDs
Correct article usage
the CDs
show examples
, videos and computer games
room
Use synonyms
 has changed into
children's
Correct article usage
a children's
show examples
 fiction
books
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
. The
room
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 decorated with two sofas and can
be use
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 storytelling events. Since
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and magazines now is rare to exist, a reading
room
Use synonyms
 has changed into
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 computer
room
Use synonyms
 now and for space between those rooms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 changed into space for all reference
books
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the right side of the maps, a children's
boook
Correct your spelling
book
room
Use synonyms
 now has changed into
lecture
Correct article usage
a lecture
show examples
room
Use synonyms
, and
enquiry
Correct article usage
the enquiry
show examples
 desk that usually people use for tickets and book returns has changed into
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
a cafe
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, between
cafe
Correct article usage
the cafe
show examples
 and
lecture
Correct article usage
the lecture
show examples
room
Use synonyms
, there are self-service machines,
information
Correct article usage
an information
show examples
 desk, and
collection
Correct article usage
a collection
show examples
 of adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
. More than that,
today
Use synonyms
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no tables and chairs anymore in the middle of the
library
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words library, today, room, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 6 times.
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